Thursday, December 20, 2007
Shh....
Christmas is coming...
Take a moment and Remember?
The sounds of Christmas- what do they sound like to you?
I hear the verse in Psalms about being still and knowing He is God...He will be exalted.
Shh....Can you hear it?
There's a reason for hope...a promise for peace.
Close your eyes...slow down...and open them again.
Stand up and praise the LORD your God, who is from everlasting to everlasting. "Blessed be your glorious name, and may it be exalted above all blessing and praise. You alone are the LORD. You made the heavens, even the highest heavens, and all their starry host, the earth and all that is on it, the seas and all that is in them. You give life to everything, and the multitudes of heaven worship you. Nehemiah 9:5-6
Our family has been in Texas spending time with my family after the death of my grandmother. One of the things we had the opportunity to do was to go to a small town outside of Austin and visit "Bethlehem". A whole city block was remade into a mini walled city- complete with animals, characters, shops and other buildings. My children met a shepherd who was trying to find a child, they almost got run over by Roman soldiers as they dragged people to jail because they couldn't pay their taxes, they saw how ropes were made, and visited a carpenter making shepherd staffs. We saw an Inn and Parker asked the innkeeper if there was any more room, but sadly there was none. He invited us in to see for ourselves and we saw the little rooms upstairs that would hold 10-11 people. And in the bustle of the crowd, and the noise of the characters and those of us visiting...there was a reverence.
Can you hear it? The sound of twinkling stars, silent nights, and animals? As we came out of the top of the Inn and headed down some stars- we saw a bright star shining.
And around the corner- there was the re-enactment of the Mary, Joseph and Baby Jesus. They were back in a cave...and all was quiet.
So profound.
Matthew 1:22-23
All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet:"The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel"- which means, "God with us."
"God with us". He is with us, all around us, moving in us, working through us; with us! Wow!
Raney Grace is still trying to work through the death of our Grana. Last night she came to my mother and asked, "So, Grana is in Heaven with God, right?" My mother replied, "yes, that's right Raney." Then Raney went on to her conclusion, which seemed to make things right inside her brain...."So....that means Jesus is babysitting all of us still left here on earth."
Praise God for being with us in Heaven and on Earth, Thank you God for your precious son Jesus- whose birth and death changed our options forever...and thank you for 'babysitting' us.
May Jesus, his birth and all that it means, resonate in our lives this Season and throughout the year.
Shhh...can you hear it? Can you hear Him?
Friday, December 7, 2007
My Grana
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Sleep Tight
Todd uses the time to spend moments with our children that they love. They get to have 'conversations' with dad.
The other night...I just had to mute the TV so I could listen. I heard Todd go into Raney's room and I heard him ask her, "What do you want to talk about?"
She answered, "Jesus!"
I could hear the smile in Todd's voice as he told her that he loves to talk about Jesus. Their conversation consisted of what Jesus did on the cross and why, and how God can save her from her scary dreams and other such stuff.
Then Todd went into Katherine's room. Katherine wanted to talk about Grana (my grandmother who is slowly leaving this world) and heaven. Katherine wanted to know about heaven and how Grana knew she was going and what would it be like. Grana has been longing to join her family in Heaven...even as those of us left here still grieve her absence of mind if not her body. Her prescence is already missed. And Katherine is trying to figure it all out.
Parker was last. Now, Parker likes to have long drawn out conversations. Sometimes it is because he wants bedtime to not come but other times it is just because he is so very curious. Parker wanted to hear about mountain climbing and different mountains that Todd knows about.
And then...I heard this song on the radio. Joseph's lullaby by Mercy Me. A video of the song is below:
It is such a sweet song...and as I listened to the words and sentiment expressed, I pictured my children's sweet faces...and I thought about Joseph and Mary watching the baby Jesus sleeping.
And I thought about God watching over all his children as we sleep.
And I as I sit here crying...I picture our Father in Heaven watching over my grandmother sleeping...and slipping to join Him in Heaven.
Sleep tight Grana.
Monday, November 19, 2007
Satisfaction
In my small group, we were discussing the feeding of the 5000. And my leader pointed out something that has resonated with me over the weeks and caused me to see words in worship songs and scriptures in a new light.
It says in Matthew 14 verse 20, "and they all ate and were satisfied. They picked up what was left over of the broken pieces, twelve full baskets."
They all ate and were satisfied...
The word satisfied indicates- they had no more need. They were not just full, which can be uncomfortable, they were satisfied or content.
A definition of satisfy is- to fulfill the desires, expectations, needs, or demands of (a person, the mind, etc.); give full contentment to: to put an end to (a desire, want, need, etc.) by sufficient or ample provision
That is what Christ brings to us. HE brings satisfaction- resting in His grace and His truth can meet all our needs. Jesus' desire is to satisfy our needs...and most of us don't let Him because we are too busy trying to stuff other things into our lives.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.
Matthew 5:6
Are you satisfied in your relationship with Christ? Are you allowing Him to satisfy you? Or are you trying to fill your life with things that leave you feeling empty and wanting more. I truly believe, even though I don't always find it easy to do, that finding our joy, our contentment, our satisfaction can only be found in Christ. Thirsting after him, pursuing righteousness, seeking His face each morning is the only way to be satisfied. He came that we might have life...and life MORE abundant!
Psalm 63:1-8
1 O God, you are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you,
my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land
where there is no water.
2 I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.
3 Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.
4 I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.
5 My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you.
6 On my bed I remember you;
I think of you through the watches of the night.
7 Because you are my help,
I sing in the shadow of your wings.
your right hand upholds me
Are you taking advantage of the gift that God earnestly desires you to have? Satisfaction, contentment, ultimate fulfillment. As we move towards Thanksgiving and usually eating to discomfort...think on satisfaction and your relationship with Christ. What are some ways you you find more satisfaction spiritually? Even if it is just looking at the world through different lenses.
Isaiah 58:11
The LORD will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.
Friday, November 9, 2007
Waiting
"Biblically, waiting on the Lord is never passive; it is always active."
Experiencing God Day by Day Devotional
Waiting.
Waiting on the Lord to renew our strength.
Waiting on the Lord to reveal His will.
Waiting on the Lord to intervene.
Waiting on the Lord to come again.
All of waiting requires the action of faith- believing that God will do what He says He will do. It requires the action of being patient. Which is kind of an oxymoron but any of us who have tried to be patient understand how much action it takes! Waiting requires us to trust- actively in the Word and promises of God.
Waiting on the Lord. It also asks us pursue God wholeheartedly- running towards Him with everything we are- even when running towards Him requires us to just be still.
I am not very good at waiting. In fact, I am rather bad at the whole deal. When I was younger- I would stay up all night on Christmas Eve just because of the anticipation of Christmas morning. Not because of Santa or the gifts- but because of the magic of Christmas morning. I stayed up because I couldn't sleep...I just couldn't relax enough to settle in and sleep. Therefore, on Christmas morning I crashed around 10am usually. I would be completely exhausted, irritable, and unpleasant to be around so my mother would send me to my room.
That is what happens when we don't utilize the waiting periods for God. We become anxious, irritable, exhausted, and overwhelmed with fear, thoughts, and anticipation that accompanies the waiting game.
But...that is not God's plan. God desires us to take advantage of the waiting period for preparation. Removing all distractions, obstacles, and anything else that gets in the way of us being able to see Him clearly when He decides to act.
Psalm 37:3-8; 34a
3Trust in the LORD and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
4 Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
5 Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will do this:
6 He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,
the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.
7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when men succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes.
8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;
do not fret—it leads only to evil.
34 Wait for the LORD
and keep his way.
This is a PS- I post on Myspace as well and this is from a reader and I thought I would share...
Thank you! I once had a teacher share with me that the original word for "wait" in the Isaiah 40:31 verse means something like "to cleave" to the Lord... to actively "hope in" and embrace Him, cleave to His very being and essence... a very active "embracing" kind of waiting... thank you for sharing this today... once again... you are right on time. God's blessings! Posted by Jenny
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Consequences
Consequences. Cause and effect. These are the difficult concepts to teach children. Some children get them with just being told about them...others have to experience the joy, the pain, and all the emotions in between.
Jesus came so that we might be saved from a life of death, a life with no purpose, a life with no hope and a life without unconditional love. Jesus came to bring life- abundant life. He takes away the sting of death...but many times the consequences of our sins will still sting.
There are sins and choices that cause wounds...and they heal. And we are forgiven. We move on and then the scab is ripped off and there is more pain and a deeper sting. And we must come to the cross of Jesus again. Broken, at the feet of Jesus.
This past Sunday and Monday I watched my husband willingly allow himself up to having a wound ripped open up again. Many of you were there and if you weren't you can listen to his sermon on www.frontlinedc.org.
Though he and I had talked about him sharing his past pain- the reality has hit harder in some ways. It wasn't a done deal that Todd was going to share his own experience. Todd doesn't share things of his past to glorify or make light of the choices he made. It can be a hard balance to strike- Todd doesn't ever want people to make bad decisions thinking, "Todd turned out alright." Todd doesn't' want others to go through the pain that much of his past caused.
God had taken much of the pain of this particular choice away many years ago after Todd surrendered his life to Jesus. But...we hadn't realized that with maturity in Christ- there is a deeper understanding of what he did. And having our own children has made it more real. His parents and my parents heard for the first time while listening to the sermon and Todd had to talk to his mother. He hurt that he hurt her.
We are not alone in our choices or sin- it can affect so many others.
Todd doesn't question the forgiveness, or the grace that God has given him. But, there is always the earthly reality of the choices we make that we have to face. Consequences. Painful, heart wrenching consequences.
My husband came home last night after Arlington completely exhausted and emotionally spent. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him. And I realized I wasn't the only one hugging him- Jesus was right there with us comforting Todd, carrying his burden with him.
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matt. 11:28
For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.
So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! 2 Corinthians 5:14-17
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Cantankerous Bath
Do you get the picture? I am cantankerous this week. I could blame it on the weather, on my schedule, on my kids, on pretty much anything- but that wouldn't be completely true. Because it is coming from inside. And I am choosing to revel in my cantankerous nature. I could let it go, but I don't want to. Nothing fits here like a good sticking out the tongue at life.
I am homesick for Texas- it happens every year as the leaves start to change. Something that is so beautiful to many- heralds the advent of snow- ehhh! and cold weather- ayahhh! and layers of clothes- bleh! I was just home for a wedding this past weekend and I was sad to leave.
My grandmother is fading. She is, and has always been, such a presence in my life. My mother called me this week and she is moving my grandmother from the nursing home to her house. I long to be there and sit by my grandmother- and laugh with she and my mother. There is something precious about generations of women.
My son. Oh, how I love him. But, his attitude STINKS! He is finding church and anything of God to be something he doesn't want to do. He is rude to those around him, and Todd and I struggle to get through to him. He really doesn't get how close he is to being completely sequestered so he can realize what is truly important- and it is NOT Halloween, Guitar Hero, watching questionable shows, or playing with his friends.
I sleep and dream of beaches, the ocean sounds, and peace. I wake up to chaos, and complaining kids, and making sure backpacks are filled. Todd asks me, "Why are you frustrated?" and I answer, "I am not frustrated, just grumpy."
I take on stress that isn't my own- asking Todd, "How do you deal with such and such? How come this doesn't frustrate you? Am I crazy? And he says to pray. PRAY! Can you believe he can be so insensitive???
And yet....I hear the truth in his words. Because I know all these external frustrations are just external. And God's peace starts within. I hate it when I come to a place in my life and have to re-adjust....AGAIN. So, I start trying to go back through my week and hear God in the midst.
Flying home and sitting next to a man from Nigeria and talking about how every small drop in the bucket is worth it for Africa. Because, if you have lots of drops- ultimately- at some point the bucket will overflow.
Seeing my son cheer on one of his baseball teammates that usually drives him nuts. While the rest of his team wrestled on the bench, Parker was at the fence encouraging Brady.
Having Raney refuse a special treat unless I bought one for Katherine and Parker.
Having Sweetie the cat curl up beside me and purr.
Going to brunch with a special woman and hearing her own struggles with her son- who is someone we totally admire. It keeps things in perspective and allows me to hope.
Having Katherine's teacher tell us there are no worries, no concerns, that Katherine is doing exceptional at school and is a pleasure teach.
Thinking about my Grandmother laughing with my mother over America's Funniest Home videos. The memory and thought of her laughter carries me.
Arriving home and driving straight to Frontline from the airport and getting there just in time to hear Todd talk about our relationship and how 'profound' our marriage is. Warm fuzzies all around.
Hearing Steven Curtis Chapman's song about wanting to "make much of you Jesus" and thinking how true, how inspiring, and such a good reminder.
And like I am trying to teach Parker- I am needing to realize myself. The only things that last are what we do for God- and everything we do, should be for HIS glory. Focusing only on the eternal and not getting lost in what is temporary. Getting out of the cantankerous bath- and going on about my day, being of good cheer, rather than diving in and playing with cantankerous bubbles.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Some Simpsons to Admire
Many years ago when Jessica Simpson and her family first started on TV. I loved watching the foibles and hilarious things that happened in the family. I loved hearing how she first started her career and her connections to Texas. However, over time, I recognized the Spiritual immaturity of her family and though I hate to make any judgements- I question many of the decisions they have made over the years- holding Joe Simpson- the father- most responsible. Not only was he a former minister- but he was also the spiritual head of the home- and therefore is held to a higher account. So, I find it hard to admire these Simpsons.
And...don't even get me started on the OJ thing.
But, in the midst of these high flying family of Simpsons, there is a family in Texas that is named Simpson. Mark, Stacie and their young daughter Bai. They are a family I deeply admire and feel for right now. About 2 years ago the young wife, Stacie, was diagnosed with brain cancer. Many miraculous things occurred and after surgery- it seemed that they got most of the tumor. In the midst of this young family dealing with cancer, Mark's father unexpectedly died.
And then Stacie's brain cancer came back, AND she found out that her mother had cancer- and it was spreading. So, Mark and Stacie started chemotherapy for Stacie- and anyone who has been through chemo or had a loved one go through it- knows how difficult it can be. Stacie's mother kept seeing doctors and yet God had different plans for her.
Yesterday she passed away.
So many things to endure in such a short time.
This Simpson family has continued to have strong faith in the midst of so many trials. Mark is continuing to seek and grow spiritually, trying to provide financially and hold it together emotionally. Bai, their young daughter, has been faced with so much loss at a young age- and yet, she is loved. That in itself is such a gift. And Stacie. Wanting to fight the cancer, wanting to be with her family, having to be strong for her dying mother, and function through the chemotherapy ravaging her body. From one mother to another- she is someone I admire.
Throughout their struggles, we receive updates and emails from Mark. He is constantly turning to the truth in the Bible to deal with each day. He encourages others, he seeks to broaden his understanding of Scripture and his Godly role in his family. He is a rock in the midst of a huge storm. We know he will not be moved or tossed about in spite of all he faces. I cry out for them and ask God why? How can this young family withstand all of this? And yet, Mark sends out scriptures with his emails reminding all of us that God has gone before him, to be strong and courageous, to remember never to forsake God because God has not forsaken you even though you find it hard to understand Gods' timing. He is encouraging us in the midst of his own suffering!
This is from one of Mark's emails:
I was thinking recently about God's sufficient grace especially as it pertains to situations like Stacie's and her mom. I was listening to a friend's sermon about this and wanted to share it with you. Sufficient Grace is the specifically timed infusion of strength by God into a believer during a crisis. It is what allows us to keep going when our own strength has gone. God has given it to Stacie and I several times since Jan 06. He has also given. If you have not had a crisis that shakes you down to core of your faith, you will. When this happens, if you are a believer, God himself will give you the strength you need to make it through. Sometimes it comes at the 11th hour and 59th minute. When it is delayed it is not late. God is never late. His timing is always perfect.
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified...for the Lord your God goes with you, he will never leave you nor forsake you. - Dueteronomy 31:6
That is not to say they don't have their bad days, their days of crying, their days of shouting out to God....but they are weathering their storms. They are truly understanding what it means to hold on only to God.
They are inspirations, they are spiritual giants, they deserve the publicity that America so cheaply pours out. But, most of all they deserve the prayers of their Christian brothers and sisters even as the Heavens are applauding them on a daily basis.
Please pray for them. Pray for healing for Stacie. Pray for them to be financially taken care of. Pray for their young daughter Bai. Pray for Mark to have the strength to be the backbone of his family. Pray for Stacie's dad who has watched his wife die and continues to watch his daughter suffer. And pray for their family as they walk through the coming days in the grieving, yet celebration, of Stacie's mother's death.
This is why we are a family of Christians. To uphold our brothers and sisters and pray for them.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Grieving God
I have been listening to the song "East to West" by Casting Crowns and losing myself in the melody and words. The lyrics can be found here: http://www.elyrics.net/read/c/casting-crowns-lyrics/east-to-west-lyrics.html. The other day while listening, I found myself thinking, "these are super heroes of worship- what kinds of sins can they be singing about?" "Why would they be afraid of God leaving them in their sin?"
I quickly realized the faulty aspect of this thinking- Galatians 6:3-4
If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else. We are never to compare ourselves to others- but only to Christ who desires us to follow his ways (Philippians 2:5-6: Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped,) - so who cares why Casting Crowns wrote the song!
But, I couldn't quite leave that train of thought....it continued in my brain and I started thinking about some things I had heard recently from other believers- classifying their sins in relation to other's sins- when God makes NO distinction. All sin is abhorrent to Him.
And that thought led to the idea that for many of us as believers- we have left old lifestyles and and outward lives of sin- but we all still struggle with sin. The Bible is very clear on this point- Romans 3:23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. None of us are perfect...we all need God's forgiveness on a daily basis.
And then while reading a book, I came across this quote by St. Augustine: What you are must always displease you, if you would attain to that which you are not.
This put my thoughts into perspective for me and brought clarity. We need to relearn, or learn for the first time, to be dissatisfied with the sin in our lives- no matter what it looks like!
Conclusion Alert:
I believe that many of us, as followers of Christ, have forgotten to perceive the seriousness of ALL sin. We do not understand the gravity of gossiping, of lies, of ungodly thoughts, of many sins that have no outward manifestations. And all of this is the sin of pride. Do you need to reread that again?
I think the main sin we, as faithful Christians, struggle with is Pride. We struggle to grasp that all sin grieves our Lord, all the while patting ourselves on the back that we are 'not like so and so".
We wave away the 'little' sins and unconsciously compare ourselves to others. We need to remember that our Savior died for all our sins and all sin separates us from God- no matter how we look on the outside. 1 John 5:17 says, "All unrighteousness is sin". That is pretty clear!
So what does that mean for us?
I believe for me it means that I need to realize the gravity of my sinful nature and how it grieves the Holy Spirit. I believe I shouldn't wallow in depression, or false guilt- but confess all my sins, asking God to reveal the inner workings of my heart and mind and lay it out before my Father in Heaven and allow Him to make me clean. As far as the east from the west- that is how far my sins go when I confess and ask for forgiveness.
But all of us, even the Christian giants, need to get a grip on the cancer of sin. In this fallen world, we need to stay away from classifying sin and thinking we look pretty good in comparison to those around us. Thomas Carlyle: "The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none."
And then we need to respond to the sin in our lives make changes. Renewing our mind, catching our words before they fall out of our mouths, asking God to continually make known to us the sin that resides in our hearts.
There is none like God- except for God! All of us fall short! But, God is there for us to encourage us, to cleanse us, to make us walk in ways that please Him. He doesn't want our false humility or for us to not accept His grace-so sacrificially given- but God does desire us to live lives of change- making it our goal to please him in ALL respects.
I close with this passage from Isaiah 40:5-28 to remind you of the grandeur of God:
And the glory of the LORD will be revealed, and all mankind together will see it. For the mouth of the LORD has spoken." A voice says, "Cry out." And I said, "What shall I cry?" "All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field. The grass withers and the flowers fall, because the breath of the LORD blows on them. Surely the people are grass. The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever."
You who bring good tidings to Zion, go up on a high mountain. You who bring good tidings to Jerusalem, lift up your voice with a shout, lift it up, do not be afraid; say to the towns of Judah, "Here is your God!" See, the Sovereign LORD comes with power, and his arm rules for him. See, his reward is with him, and his recompense accompanies him. He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young. Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand, or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens? Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket, or weighed the mountains on the scales and the hills in a balance? Who has understood the mind of the LORD, or instructed him as his counselor? Whom did the LORD consult to enlighten him, and who taught him the right way? Who was it that taught him knowledge or showed him the path of understanding?
Surely the nations are like a drop in a bucket; they are regarded as dust on the scales; he weighs the islands as though they were fine dust. Lebanon is not sufficient for altar fires, nor its animals enough for burnt offerings. Before him all the nations are as nothing; they are regarded by him as worthless and less than nothing.
To whom, then, will you compare God? What image will you compare him to?
As for an idol, a craftsman casts it, and a goldsmith overlays it with gold and fashions silver chains for it. A man too poor to present such an offering selects wood that will not rot. He looks for a skilled craftsman to set up an idol that will not topple.
Do you not know? Have you not heard? Has it not been told you from the beginning? Have you not understood since the earth was founded?
He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth, and its people are like grasshoppers. He stretches out the heavens like a canopy, and spreads them out like a tent to live in. He brings princes to naught and reduces the rulers of this world to nothing. No sooner are they planted, no sooner are they sown, no sooner do they take root in the ground, than he blows on them and they wither, and a whirlwind sweeps them away like chaff.
"To whom will you compare me? Or who is my equal?" says the Holy One.
Lift your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all these? He who brings out the starry host one by one, and calls them each by name. Because of his great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing. Why do you say, O Jacob, and complain, O Israel, "My way is hidden from the LORD; my cause is disregarded by my God"?
Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Envelopes, Jeans, and Wineskins
So, one day I was mailing a book, and rather than using the paper packaging I can print myself, I decided to use an envelope. I opened the envelope and starting trying to stuff my book inside. It didn't fit easily, so I decided to wedge it in...trying to squeak it past the sides, going side to side- you know the drill. I was determined to fit that book inside the envelope- when low and behold- the sides ripped! Wasted try, wasted envelope.
Tina Fabulous. Do any of you remember her from The Bachelor? I can still see her before one of her dates trying to squeeze inside a pair of jeans by lying down on the bed and putting them on. I thought, how ridiculous! How uncomfortable! But, she seemed to be just fine with the whole squeezing into a pair of jeans and it seemed to be a normal occurrence in her jean-wearing life. For me, I thank the person who invented tencel fabric and stretch jeans- I know, not very fashionable- but I like to be able to breath when I wear jeans. Don't even get me started on skinny jeans- the whole name just causes me to gag.
As I was trying to stuff my book inside the envelope- a sermon Todd had just given came to mind. When he talked about trying to stuff our new life of Christianity inside the old sinful life. It doesn't fit, it doesn't make sense...and yet many times we still try to make them cohabitate- trying to live in both worlds. This creates dissatisfaction, discomfort, and a feeling of not belonging in either one.
Jesus told them this story: "No person takes cloth off a new coat to cover a hole on an old coat. Why? Because he ruins the new coat, and the cloth from the new coat will not be the same as the old cloth. People never pour new wine into old wine bags. Why? Because the new wine will break the bags, and the wine will spill out and the wine bags will be ruined. People always put new wine into new wine bags. No person that drinks old wine wants new wine. Why? Because he says, 'The old wine is fine.'" Luke 5:36-39 ERV
There are a couple of points I want to bring out from this passage. The main one being- that our life in Christ is a NEW work- Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. Old things have disappeared, and - look! - all things have become new (2 Cor. 5:17).
In a devotional by Phil Ware: "Jesus' point is clear. Don't try to limit God's new life in Christ. Don't try to contain it with your old religious categories. Don't try to dilute it with your old religious practices. Jesus brings something new. Celebrate it. Enjoy its blessings. Be challenged by its demands and rejoice in its promises. But don't ever try to simply attach it to what you had before. The call of Christ is new, fresh, and all encompassing. Begin each day with fresh eyes and new ears with the expectation that the Lord will do something you have never seen or expected. You won't feel safe. It won't be predictable. But, it will be marvelous!"
Many times, we try to 'patch' God into our old understanding of who He is, we try to patch God's truth onto our idea of what religious means, and we try to patch Him onto our sinful life. But, God desires to do something new with us. Not patch up our life- but a new creation. How wonderful when we allow God the freedom to do with us what He desires!
I think another point to recognize from this passage is found in verse 39; "No one who has been drinking old wine wants new wine, for he says, 'The old is excellent!" God understands our struggles. He knows that it is hard for us to let go of the known to embrace the unknown. But, he also knows the freedom, the peace, and the life that awaits those who throw out the old wine skins and pour the new wine into new wine skins.
Philippians 2:13- For it is God who is producing in you both the desire and the ability to do what pleases him.
Again from Phil Ware: "The old life and its temptations lure us and invite us back. So often we succumb. The old religious way of thinking, one based on works righteousness and earning our own salvation, often seeps back into our Christian way of thinking, robbing us of its vitality. The lure of the familiar is powerful. It is also a deadly thief, robbing our new life in Christ of its grace, joy, and victory. Don't go back and mix some other form of religion you know with the radical call of Jesus!"
God desires us to please Him, not straddle the fence, not live lukewarm lives or He will spew us out.
Pray that God will help you to live fully sold out, committed to pleasing Him in all things- turning away from the old, and allowing Him to do something NEW in your life.
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Undivided Heart- Brokenness
Brokenness. There are many ideas that come to my head regarding this issue...a lamb whose legs get broken when it wanders away from the shepherd so that it can relearn to hear the shepherd's voice. A wild horse that must be broken before it can be ridden, and mosaics- made up of many broken tiles into a beautiful picture.
Many of us are broken as well. Sometimes life has caused the cracks, and other times we have felt the Saviors hand molding us and breaking us.
This is a poem I have always loved- I don't know the author but I have carried it around with me over the years and it comes to mind periodically when I am experiencing certain things. It is a conversation based on scripture and the promises of God....
God chooses to break me.
But I am strong and I resist His breaking of me.
He breaks me in different degrees but all are separation. He breaks my shell of self and circumstances to reach into my character. He fills it with Him. The more He breaks and fills the gaps with the mortar of Him, the less you see of me.
To break; to interrupt as to break communication. Interrupt the old self that sends signals and impulses to old ways.
Link to His spirit
To break; to disconnect as to unplug from an energy source. Pull the chord from my strength.
Plug into Him.
To break; to breach as in a contract. He broke my contract with sin. I am longer bound to live by the law.
For I am free under Grace.
Oh, I am so unwilling to be willing. It's painful, Lord, foreign and fearful.
I know my beloved. But I have gone before you. Do not fear.
It will show my brittleness, fragility, frailty, how easily I crumble.
Yes, my beloved. For when you are all of these things, then My strength can show instead.
You said you will tear me to pieces!
My loved one, I promised to heal you. I must break you into shattered pieces to prove your nothingness and My completeness.
But Lord, I can't sweep me back together.
Exactly.
Lord, if you break me I'll leak. That seems useless.
Trust Me.
It hurts there where you touched me and now I am crippled.
Listen for My voice of love, little one. You must return to me for healing.
I am an empty pot.
You must be hollow so I can fill you with Myself and the fullness of My love.
But Father, the kneading, the pounding with a little time to rise in the oven. And once I seem whole, you tear me apart again.
I must bring you through all of this, beloved child. You must be torn asunder that I might serve you to those that hunger and thirst for Me.
Do you see it? Do you feel the love, the plans He has, can you understand? As I was writing all I could think about was Jesus' words in the upper room as he spoke to His disciples during the last supper-Luke 22:19 And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, "This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me."
You see, Jesus understood. He understands. He went through pain, suffering, humiliation, and even death- so that He could serve us....and save us.
Brokenness. So necessary to being undivided. Once again Jesus is revealed in dichotomy. It is through breaking us that he binds us together with something stronger, everlasting and more useful. It is through the breaking- that we cling to the vine of Christ. It is through the breaking that we are able to discern the Savior's voice- and find true joy.
John 3:27-30
To this John (the Baptist) replied, "A man can receive only what is given him from heaven. You yourselves can testify that I said, 'I am not the Christ but am sent ahead of him.' The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him, and is full of joy when he hears the bridegroom's voice. That joy is mine, and it is now complete. He must become greater; I must become less.
We must all decrease- decrease the old self, decrease the pride, decrease the sin, decrease the dependence on self, decrease; so that God, the creator of all, the alpha and omega, the One that is higher than the Heavens can increase...so His light can fill us up, showing through our cracks, and sealing us with the Holy Spirit. We are sealed- made better- when God is increased in our lives.
Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name Psalm 86:11
Lon Solomon's book Brokenness is wonderful to understand brokenness and God's purpose through it. Ken Gire, a writer who has great analogies and easy to read writing, has two books that I recommend as well: The Work of His Hands : The Agony and Ecstasy of Being Conformed to the Image of Christ(based on the Sculpture the Pieta by Michelangelo) and The Weathering Grace of God: The Beauty God Brings from Life's Upheavals
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Undivided Heart- Suffering
Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.
My son ran past me with tears running down his face. The door slammed behind him. I paid the doctor bill, grabbed Raney's hand and followed Parker out to the car. He was sitting in the back seat kicking the seat in front of him and crying. I put Raney in her booster chair, and went around to my seat. As soon as I got in the car, Parker started screaming out his frustrations. I stopped him, and then he just started crying really hard.
The doctor had just told Parker that he didn't need to run anymore. We are having trouble with some joint issues and pain in Parker's legs, hips, and feet. We haven't discovered why, or how and we are trying to chase down the issue by visiting various doctors. Last November, Parker ended up in the emergency room because both his knees were swollen, he couldn't walk, and he was running fever. It quickly went away with the right medication- but we still haven't found the cause and have gotten mixed diagnoses. We have ruled out any life threatening issues (praise God!)- it just about finding the source of the pain at this point.
Since then, Parker has had various pain, stiffness but never the swollen joints or fever. In the last few weeks, the pain has progressed to every other day and one day he had trouble walking without crying because of pain in his feet.
You have to understand Parker. He is full of life, energy, and competition. He wants to do what his friends are doing, he wants to play baseball, run, and be a rough and tumble boy. At school, they are doing a mileage contest. For every five miles they run, they receive a plastic foot to put on a chain. You would think these little feet were diamonds the way the want to get them. Parker spends his recess running laps. He has two feet already. But....his pain has been increasing and he has gone to the nurse at school and had trouble when he got home.
Parker couldn't wait to play baseball this season. The first practice- he got to be catcher! What fun! That position comes with accessories...and Parker loved it! But...when he got home- his knees were hurting very badly and he had trouble sleeping.
So, my son was crying in the car on the way home from the doctor. I calmed him down. As he was crying, this is what he was saying, "Why is this happening to me? I have to be able to run, this isn't fair! What about Katherine and Raney- they don't like to run as much as me." And finally, "Doesn't God see that I am hurting?"
Wow! How many times have we all felt that at one time or another. Doesn't God see we are hurting?
I talked to Parker. I told him that God does see that he is hurting- but we don't always understand how and why God works the way he does- but we do know that God has a plan. I shared with him about Paul:
2 Corinthians 12:7-10
To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
I shared with Parker that we didn't exactly know the source of Paul's weakness...and that though he had asked God to remove it- God had a reason for the suffering. I told Parker that we needed to rejoice that it wasn't a life or death issue. And I told him, that God was there for him in the midst of his pain. That Parker needed to find some way to be content within the circumstances he was experiencing- waiting on God.
I have to admit, this didn't go very far to assure my eight year old son. It was too deep, too hard, too distant for him to comprehend. He doesn't care that if he damages his joints now, he might not walk as an old man- he wants to run, play baseball and get those darn plastic feet! But, as a parent, I have to take every opportunity to teach the truth...repeatedly. A second opinion the next day allows him to run unless there is pain- but Parker has a hard time regulating that...so we will see.
His experience, and mine as his parent, reminds me that to be undivided with God- we must find a way through the pain, suffering, hurt, and distress that happens in life- to stay close to our Heavenly Father. Cry out, be honest with God- but seek him through it all. God has the lid of the puzzle box- seeing the whole picture- we can just see the various pieces as he reveals them one by one. His goal is to make us more like him- for HIS glory.
And there is hope in the midst of the suffering. Romans 5:3-5- Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
Does this hope mean that everything will be okay and solved like we want? No. It means we already have the hope living inside of us- the hope of Christ is the gift of eternal life and all that a life with him entails- including the suffering. The hope is not that it goes away according to our desires- but that God will work through our suffering, using it for His glory, shaping us according to His plan- so that we are more like Him, serving Him.
I hate that my son is in pain. Any parent hates to see their child suffer. Don't you think God sees it and hurts with us as well? But, we must trust, and continue to follow the commandments of God.
James 5:10-11
Brothers, as an example of patience in the face of suffering, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. As you know, we consider blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job's perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.
1 Peter 5:10
And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.
Mercy Me's Song- Bring the Rain
I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain
I am yours regardless of the clouds that may loom above because you are much greater than my pain you who made a way for me suffering your destiny so tell me whats a little rain
Holy, holy, holy Holy, holy, holy
is the lord God almighty
is the lord God almighty
I'm forever singing
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Mommy Fumbles
Mommy fumbles can be the same way. But instead of the crowd gasping in frustration it is the mommy and instead of a ball dropping, many times it is sanity falling, but...the free for all remains the same no matter if it is a bunch of football players...or children. Hmmm...do I mean something with that analogy???
My fumbles have tended to happen when Todd is out of town. He used to travel so much more than he does now. One Summer, he was gone for about 8 weeks, stopping about twice in the midst. There were two overseas trips and two youth camps. I was pregnant with Katherine and Parker was almost two.
There was a rhythm to our life and most of the time things were fine. But...every once in a while all hell could break loose. Parker had gotten a sickness called hand/foot/mouth. I am sure he got it from a playland at some McDonalds where I would retreat to get some of Parker's energy out. The retreat usually lasted until I had to drag my pregnant body up through the tubes to retrieve my child...quite a sight, I am sure.
Anyway...hand/foot/mouth sickness...There were painful blisters all inside his mouth and he could not drink, eat, or exist without pain. And...he couldn't always sleep. Oral medicines burned his mouth so I had to give suppositories. Who likes those? Definitely not a 22 month old! I would tuck his feet up beside his head, holding him there with my arms and bulk and try to wrestle a suppository into a moving, bouncy target. Supposedly the suppository had some type of hard drug that was supposed to make him crash.
Ha, Ha, Ha! My mother and I had learned one rough night in DC when we had come for the Easter Egg Roll that Parker didn't always react to drugs like he was supposed to. That night, my mother and I took turns- but now I was by myself in San Antonio, and I was exhausted.
I put Parker to bed with wet tears on his face. He fell asleep! And I thought I was home free. But, alas, all good things must come to an end. Around midnight he woke up. And started running around the house. He was wired, wired, and more wired.
I let him watch shows, I played with him, I read to him, I locked him in his room, tried all sorts of thing but he was 'high' from the medicine and in pain. And I came to the end of my rope.
I remember slumping down beside his bed as he was running through the house and I just sobbed. I was tired, I was angry, and I didn't know what to do.
Parker finally ran out of gas and we fell asleep in his bed together, Katherine in my tummy in the middle.
I can't believe my son is eight now. He is so precious to me- we have experienced so much together that he will never remember. But, I do. And I know I continue to fumble in my motherhood, but God is there for both Parker and I. And God is there for you.
Deuteronomy 31:8
The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Undivided Heart- Faith
Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.
When I was younger I received a plastic gold necklace with a magnified plastic coated mustard seed inside. It was a treasure to me because of what it stood for. In one of my Sunday School classes during high school, we were talking about faith and moving mountains and mustard seeds (Matthew 17:20, He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.") My best friend Carie brought her plastic necklace with a plastic mustard seed and we thought it very cool that we both had a necklace, symbolizing faith. It became a symbol to she and I both and we found much joy in reading and repeatedly using Hebrews 11:1, "faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see". We applied this verse to everything from homework, family situations, and even our love lives. Not sure that is what the scripture meant....but heh, we were trying.
HOPE, SURE, CERTAIN: Strong words, knowing that you know that you know, not relying on anything of our Human nature but putting everything we are into the Potter's Hands, allowing Him to shape and mold us into the functional art that HE desires.
It has always intrigued me how such a small amount of faith could move mountains. Trying to wrap my mind around the concept was better than counting sheep at night. Just a smidgen, a pinch, a teensy little bit of faith accomplishes much.
Undivided Hearts require faith. Proverbs 3:3-5 says, "Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man. Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding".
Faith requires trusting in the Lord. I think for many of us, our trust has been broken. Not by God, but by man and therefore, we struggle to trust God's promises. But to truly LIVE, live in the Lord we must "walk by faith, not by sight" (2 Cor. 5:7).
Once again, an easy concept to read, but hard to always put into practice. Some of us have more trusting natures than others- but God calls all of us to live a life of faith. The Bible is full of God's promises, reassuring us that what He says He will do, He WILL do. He asks us to step out in faith, and to live a life undivided with Him. To be undivided- living a life of faith is really a requirement.
It is the trust that you give when all earthly circumstances say different, it is knowing that God's promises stand up to whatever trial you are experiencing, and it is looking at a little mustard seed and asking God, like the disciples did, to 'increase our faith!(Luke 17:5)"
All throughout the Old Testament we see elements of trust. Faith handed down through generations- knowing that God would fulfill the vision and promise He made even though it would take generations and hundreds of years.
Genesis 15:5-6
He (God) took him outside and said, "Look up at the heavens and count the stars—if indeed you can count them." Then he said to him, "So shall your offspring be."
Abram believed the LORD, and he credited it to him as righteousness.
Romans 4:13-14, 18-25
It was not through law that Abraham and his offspring received the promise that he would be heir of the world, but through the righteousness that comes by faith. For if those who live by law are heirs, faith has no value and the promise is worthless...Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, "So shall your offspring be."Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead—since he was about a hundred years old—and that Sarah's womb was also dead. Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised. This is why "it was credited to him as righteousness." The words "it was credited to him" were written not for him alone, but also for us, to whom God will credit righteousness—for us who believe in him who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead. He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification
So, God made a promise to Abraham and Abraham waited on God, faithfully. He believed God would multiply his heirs and have him be the Father of many nations even when he and Sarah were old and didn't have children, and he believed God when God asked him to sacrifice His son Isaac on an alter.
"Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD" Lamentations 3:22-24.
Believing, against all earthly hope, and his faith was credited to Him as righteousness. We have that same ability. We can live a life of believing and trusting God...with faith. Or we can waver and be tossed about not making any progress in our walk with God. James 1:6-7 says, "But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord.
To be aligned with God, to trust his ways, to place our hope in God, to have faith and be undivided in Spirit with Him...the questions to ask yourself are:
Do I trust God?
Do I live my life like I believe He can do anything he wants to do?
Do I have faith even when I cannot see ahead of me?
Am I willing to wait on God?
If any answer is 'no' just ask God to "increase your faith!"
1Timothy 1:12-19a
I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me faithful, appointing me to his service. Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief. The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.
Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life. Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen.
Timothy, my son, I give you this instruction in keeping with the prophecies once made about you, so that by following them you may fight the good fight, holding on to faith and a good conscience
Sunday, September 16, 2007
An Undivided Heart- Purpose
It kept them steadfast (Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain. 1 Cor. 15:58), it kept them working for one purpose (then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Philippians 2:2), and it kept them together- even while being apart (It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart; for whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God's grace with me. Philippians 1:7).
Undivided Hearts. Focused on God's purpose for their lives. Undivided doesn't mean that Ruth and Billy were always in agreement- I love one of the quotes famously said by Ruth, "If both people in a marriage always agree- then one of them is not necessary!" And even though they may not have always agreed, they both remained focused on the one call God gave them. God's grace sustained them through travel, issues with their kids, distance, grief, illnesses, and any kind of trouble.
I always think how hard it must have been on Ruth and the kids with Billy gone for months and months at a time. Our military families experience this as well. Sometimes, we forget, that it was just as hard on Billy and those who are separated from the security and love a home base provides. Todd used to travel so much more than he does now. And yet, it still bothers him to be gone from our house for very long. Hotel Rooms, and strangers, and airports can be very lonely even knowing you are doing it for a greater purpose.
Purpose. That is one of the keys to living a life with an undivided heart. Purpose allows you to align yourself with the Holy God who has good works for you to do, who has plans for you, and who desires that all people come to know Him. Knowing your purpose doesn't always make it easier to live life...sometimes it makes it more difficult. There are difficult decisions to have to make so that you are aligned with what God is asking you to do, sometimes there is pain and heartache- but to not listen, to not do God's will? For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity, but in sanctification I Thessalonians 4:7. I have been very uncomfortable when I have chosen to ignore God's voice in my life. The proverbial being inside a fish with my voice echoing off the ribs, and hanging out with half-digested food comes to mind. Who grows up and wants to be Jonah? And yet, there are times we all are. We run from the purpose, the goal that God has set before us.
Now it is God who has made us for this very purpose and has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come...We live by faith, not by sight. We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So we make it our goal to please him... 2 Corinthians 5:5,7-9
And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father...Colossians 1:10-12a
It is obvious to me that to be undivided with God- we must pursue a life of sanctification, set apart for His glory, and to please Him in all things. He is our divining rod against what all things should be measured. And then there are many of us that know God has something even more specific for us to do.
Are you listening? Are you obeying?
Sunday, September 9, 2007
An Undivided Heart
On one or more Sunday nights this is what happens: As I exit the car, I ask my children to gather their things- the artwork and papers from church, and their dinner. More often than not, I have to get all the leftovers in the car as well as the drinks. I walk into the house after my children with my hands full. I cannot see and I trip over the shoes that are left in the middle of the floor right inside the door. A couple of times the drinks have gone flying, other times the stuff in my arms just falls to the floor. I am usually screeching at this point, VERY ready for all my kids to be in bed! A great ending to a Sunday night don't you think? There are many times when I think I would like to tell Todd...."I will preach and you take the kids home and put them to bed"!
I was meditating on the verse in Hebrews 12. Verse one says "....let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us". And I had the picture in my head of me walking into the house with my arms loaded down. These are the thoughts that came along with the picture:
I couldn't see very well with my arms full
I tripped because I wasn't able to see completely
I couldn't see obstacles in my path because my view was obstructed
If I had shared my burden then I wouldn't have had as much trouble
With my arms full, I cannot help someone else carry their burdens
I cannot hug; comfort others
There is a freedom in letting go of things...things of the earth that have no eternal value, things that hinder us from walking Godly lives. There is a freedom in shaking off the sin that so easily entangles, seeking God's help to overcome. In letting go, I can focus on the joy set before me, weighing everything against value and teachings in God's kingdom, I can praise the Holy Father fully because my hands are free to lift high in praise to Him.So much easier when it is a picture in my head. It is very hard to focus on God when we are holding onto so many other things rather than Him.
This concept of me having my arms full and holding on to ‘stuff’ kept bouncing around in my head. Because, if we are holding tight to things, people, etc. than we cannot hold on to Him, and our view is blocked- obstructed and we are more likely to trip. The lesson- to hold loosely(...or not overload your arms anyway..).
We are to hold loosely, while He, being God and all, holds on to us. He is always there just waiting for us to seek Him, You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart I will be found by you," declares the LORD (Jeremiah 29:13-14a).
He is never far from us: "He is the God who made the world. He also made everything in it. He is the Lord of heaven and earth. He doesn't live in temples built by hands. He is not served by human hands. He doesn't need anything. He himself gives life and breath to all people. He also gives them everything else they have. From one man he made all the people of the world. Now they live all over the earth. He decided exactly when they should live. And he decided exactly where they should live. God did this so that people would seek him. Then perhaps they would reach out for him and find him. They would find him even though he is not far from any of us (Acts 17:24-27).
I was thinking about the phrase 'hold loosely'. I tried to find it in the Bible and could not. I realized that we use this phrase in the Christian walk based on Abraham's experience in Genesis 22 (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis%2022:1-14&version=31). We see that God asked Abraham to sacrifice his son, something Abraham valued, loved, and had waited on for many years. Abraham was faithful and went to follow through with God's commands. In the end, we see God providing another way to satisfy His desire for a sacrifice...but we need to understand that God does not choose to intervene in a crisis of faith. To assume that there is always another provision in the face of a crisis is to limit God’s sustaining grace in our lives. It limits our ability to trust completely if we trust ‘only until we are rescued’.
We are to be willing to hand over everything, allowing no other thing to come before or in the way of following the Almighty God and His commands: Hold on to instruction, do not let it go; guard it well, for it is your life Prov. 4:13. Holding loosely...
All my life I have heard this story of Abraham and Isaac. They both had to trust their Fathers completely. When my parents were teaching Sunday School, my father did a drama based on Genesis 22. My little brother was two at the time and was brought in. My dad called him up to the front and asked him to lie down. Grant, fully trusting his father who loved him greatly, went with no hesitation. He lay down and my father held a knife over him...there were many tears and fear over this dramatic picture. But...it was the trust of Grant and the pain in my father's eyes that have stayed with me. My father was hurting even though he knew he wasn't really going to do any harm to Grant.
And I have to ask.... am I willing to hold loosely to my children? To my husband? To my relatively easy life? How much am I willing to let go so that I am holding tightly to the instructions of the Bible? How much do I trust the Father in Heaven? Do I trust that He really will hold on to me?
I do know that we don't know until such a time arrives. Because it is only then that God gives you the strength, and grace, to handle what He has put before you. (Hebrews 4:16) Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.
So there is no reason to worry, to anticipate, or to fear. But, we should spend our time on this earthy being open to the movements of God and His Holy Spirit. Learning to love him with an undivided heart- even when it is painful.
Psalm 86:11
Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.
My prayer based on this verse:Lord, teach me how you want me to live. Enable to follow your truth. Help me to hide your words in my heart so that when I am tested or burdened, I can recall your Living Word. Give me a heart that doesn't want anything more than to worship you and all that worship involves- my whole heart, my whole spirit, my whole life. And with great trembling, I lay all that I am at your feet.
*NOTE* I wrote this blog right before going to Frontline on Sunday night. As I heard Todd's sermon...I realized that God was working in us both with the same message in different ways. Funny how the Holy Spirit can do that.
Friday, September 7, 2007
Celebrating Raney Grace
Raney doesn't embrace change, loud noises, or darkness very well. She is cautious, and has her own way of comforting herself- which is usually quite repetitive
Regarding change:
from her first day of school which is also a church so the rooms serve two purposes
Mom, why doesn't the music room have music?
I don't know Raney- sometimes it does and sometimes it has chairs.
Oh yeah, Things change. GranJan said things change. Do things change mom?
Yes Raney.
I will have to call GranJan and tell her things changed at my school.
Regarding loud noises:
Thunder often causes Raney to sleep in the playroom and constantly yell down, "I'm not afraid of thunder, Mom, but I can sleep in the playroom right?"
This phrase is also used for firecrackers, or loud motorcycle noises and is repeated until she falls asleep.
Also, she is afraid of the noise of various toilets flushing. So, we have to wait until she covers her ears before we flush...needless to say the automatic flushers are quite traumatic for her.
She went on a scary ride at Disney World- and we still talk about it to this day. She is working through everything all the time.
Parker and Katherine get pretty tired of the repetition in Raney's vocabulary. She also somewhat speaks her own language and sometimes Katherine acts as her interpreter to those not around all the time.
always means never i.e You never ask me to get my clothes!
never means always i.e You always let me go outside and play in the street!
mote means remote i.e. Where's the mote, mom?
maked means naked i.e. Look Mom, I'm maked!
sagna means lasagna, spaghetti and anything with red sauce
noodles applies to anything with noodles
and daddy's food means chicken and vegetables
Raney also is one of the most compassionate of my children. She feels deeply for her brother and sister...and always wants to share what she has with them. She loves praise music and sings or hums to most all songs (irritating her siblings) but Todd and I love that she remembers the words and always wants to know what they mean.
She was my surprise child...and continues to surprise me on a daily basis. Sometimes they are good surprises and other times the surprises exhaust me. It is time for me to let her grow up, to challenge her insecurities, to encourage her to reach past her fears, and to allow her to fall sometimes.
Tough Love. Such a hard dichotomy to embrace.
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Discipline, Exercise, and Wisdom
And he said to man, 'The fear of the Lord—that is wisdom, and to shun evil is understanding.'
Psalm 111:10
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding. To him belongs eternal praise.
Proverbs 9:10
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.
Exercise....bleh! Getting healthy....double bleh! Being married to a reformed food junkie/couch potato.....triple bleh!
Yes, in my life, I have been convinced, convicted, whatever you want to call it, that it is time for me to pursue a life of health. And that means discipline...gag, cough, gag, bleh! Discipline means change, and work, and something new. And I really don't like change very much. God is so funny and has such a great sense of humor in having me married to a man of many changes!
Discipline can also be applied to our spiritual walk as well. I have an easier time with this one though I still like it to be 'free formed'. And just like exercise, there are times when you have to push through the awkward discomfort to reach a better goal, a higher goal.
Last night in our small group, our cooler than cool head chica, led us on a journey through various disciplines based on two main books "So you want to be like Christ" by Chuck Swindoll and "Celebration of Discipline" by Richard Foster, while also using her own convictions. She talked about cultivating.... Prayer, Worship, Evangelism, Serving, Silence, Solitude, Confession, Study, Journal, and Celebration.
To cultivate:
to prepare and work on; to promote or improve the growth of (a plant, crop, etc.) by labor and attention. to develop or improve by education or training; train; refine ;foster. to devote oneself to (an art, science, etc.).
Cultivating each one of these to attain true intimacy with Christ (see past blog on intimacy). I realized very quickly that my journey into wisdom was closely tied to the spiritual disciplines. I love it when God starts to put the pieces of the puzzle together!
I kind of made light of the verse regarding the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom in my previous post. I now realize how true and deep that verse actually is. "Fear of the Lord" = reverential trust, deep affection and wanting to honor by walking in the way of the Creator, holy admiration, the understanding that He is God...and we are most definitely NOT.
And that truly is the beginning. The chief proponent of our Christian walk and journey into wisdom. Wisdom is a spiritual gift and also a result of a live lived completely under the influence of the Almighty God and all his commandments.
We must know Him. Pursue Him. Exercise spiritual disciplines in our lives so that the marathon we are running is consistent, and pleasing to our Heavenly Coach. Throwing off all the sin that so easily entangles us (Hebrews 12:1-3), shaking off any obstacles in our path, running straight towards the open arms of God- the only one we should actively try to please.
Jennifer, our head chica, challenged us to write a goal for our lives. I.E. "To know God better" and write it in the front of our Bible- living each day with that goal in mind- making that mission statement, goal, or calling forefront in our Christian walk. We are to be in constant training...never laying a hold of it until we are in Heaven.
Praise be to God whose Love endures forever.
Job 28: 12-28
"But where can wisdom be found? And where is the place of understanding? "Man does not know its value, Nor is it found in the land of the living. "The deep says, `It is not in me'; And the sea says, `It is not with me.' "Pure gold cannot be given in exchange for it, Nor can silver be weighed as its price. "It cannot be valued in the gold of Ophir, In precious onyx, or sapphire. "Gold or glass cannot equal it, Nor can it be exchanged for articles of fine gold. "Coral and crystal are not to be mentioned; And the acquisition of wisdom is above that of pearls. "The topaz of Ethiopia cannot equal it, Nor can it be valued in pure gold.
"Where then does wisdom come from? And where is the place of understanding? "Thus it is hidden from the eyes of all living And concealed from the birds of the sky. "Abaddon and Death say, `With our ears we have heard a report of it.' "God understands its way, And He knows its place. "For He looks to the ends of the earth And sees everything under the heavens. "When He imparted weight to the wind And meted out the waters by measure, When He set a limit for the rain And a course for the thunderbolt, Then He saw it and declared it; He established it and also searched it out. "And to man He said, `Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom; And to depart from evil is understanding.'