Romantic Drivel

"She spied him across the heads of the people in the ballroom, her gaze was drawn like bees to honey, his eyes the color of the amber liquid. A small gasp escaped her mouth before she even knew it. He came, he was here! Her dreams and desires all in one man. And he was here."

Todd loves to watch car chases, sporting disasters, and any other adrenaline show. I give him a very hard time because- many times the 'disaster' is not as spectacular as the commentary that the guy is giving it. It always seems much more extreme if you listen and not watch.

Romantic novels are much the same way. They are set up to be extreme- and not common. I am a 'mind candy' junkie. I love to lose myself in all sorts of books: mysteries, murder, love, history, biographies, mystical, etc. I am not going to defend my obsession- I know many may have opinions- they couldn't be that different than Todd giving me a hard time. Because, guess what? What I read isn't always from a christian perspective! gasp!

I began reading at a very early age and my mother gave me a piece of advice that I apply to everything I read. "Real life is not like in books." She always wanted to make sure that I could tell fiction from real life- and wanted me to understand that my love life, my marriage, my marital sexual life, and my life in general would NEVER be like a book.

We allow our children to watch certain shows, or movies depending on their maturity. It is not an age deal- because they are all so different. It is the ability to separate fact from fiction- they need to understand that what they watch is not real. Animals cannot talk, there is no spider-man, the princess doesn't always get the prince, and people do not break out into song and dance in most highschools.

I am speaking to the single woman. I believe (and don't shoot me) it is okay to read books that cause you to dream. But, you must be able to separate fact from fiction. Losing yourself in a story is fine- but coming back into reality is a must. Dating life is not a romantic highway man abduction. If I was being held up for any reason, I don't think I would notice the beautiful eyes behind the mask, or admire the strong physique of the man robbing me.

You cannot expect to always be swept off your feet, and relationships are unlike many of those laid out in books. Sometimes they are much more work...and not so dramatic. It is unfair and unrealistic to put these expectations on the men around us. They just don't respond like the heros in books- which are written by other women.

We don't want men to put 'movie star' expectations upon us as women. No matter how I hard I try- I will never, never look like Angelie Jolie or any of the Jessicas (Biel, Alba, Simpson). And I will never look adoringly at Todd all the time...and he must get used to me sometimes staying in my pajammas all day and doing laundry.

If you struggle with wanting fantasy to be real life than take hiatus from watching, reading or putting anything in front of you that takes you away from focusing on the truth in your life. When I was trying to decide about watching Studio 60, Will Pavone commented and gave this advice- I am passing it on:

Here are two texts I try to use to evaluate what I should watch. I dont always do it but ive been thinking that maybe I should put these verses on the top of my tv.

I will walk with integrity of heart within my house; I will not set before my eyes anything that is worthless. psalm 101:2-3
For your obedience is known to all, so that I rejoice over you, but I want you to be wise as to what is good and innocent as to what is evil. romans 16:19

I am not going to tell you what to read, what to watch, or what music to listen to. You need to spend time with the Heavenly Father and evaluate what the Holy Spirit is leading you to do. Seeking truth- for your life in scripture and in wise counsel.