Crisis of Belief

I have been reading a book called The Persecutor by Sergei Kourdakov. (Other versions were published under Forgive me, Natasha). During the late 1960s and early 1970s he worked for the Russian police in terrorizing Christians- beatings, stalkings, and even the deaths of Christians were done under his leadership. However, through witnessing the faith of those he hurt, he came to know Jesus. Ultimately, he escaped to America and traveled speaking about his faith until he was shot under mysterious circumstances in 1973. He was 21 years old. It is a book that has caused me to look at my own faith and wonder how my faith would stand in the face of persecution.



I wanted to know more about Sergei and those mentioned in his book, so I went to the internet. I found a Christian woman who had also read the book when she was young and as she got older, she decided to do a documentary on the book. Supposedly, it was a fascinating journey for her as she started out just trying to trace Sergei's life but ultimately ended up investigating the claims made in the book. It brought her to a crisis of faith as she realized that much of the book was fiction. The documentary, first based on Sergei, ends up being a witness to the heartbreaking journey of this young women as she comes to terms with truth and her own faith in Christ. The documentary is called, Forgive me, Sergei, and I have been trying to track down a way to view the documentary.



My whole point of this blog, however, is to remind us that our faith will always have those moments of crisis. Many times they come when we have been heartbreakingly disappointed. We come to realize that those we looked up to in our faith- are just sinful humans like we are. We see leaders fall into sin and their dramatic fall has an echoing impact throughout other lives. We have to pick up pieces of children or adults who have been hurt by those in Christian leadership or their Christian parents. We are forced to defend church, our faith, and Jesus. And in the quiet, hopefully, we turn to the Bible...and to our own faith, trying to find answers.

God's word says in Romans 3: What if some were unfaithful? Does their faithlessness nullify the faithfulness of God? By no means! Let God be true though every man be false...

You see, God's truth, His faithfulness, His love, His justice- are never dependent on humans. Instead- they stand alone. He is the Alpha...and the Omega.

However, many of us, allow our attention and focus to be moved from God to a human- whether parent, friend, mentor, leader or pastor. And we are disappointed. And we, ourselves, disappoint others. Because we are sinful. And we need a Savior. To rescue us. To redeem us.


What we need to understand is that all crises are opportunities for us to grow in our own faith. We mature a little each time we are faced with a crisis. If we continue to press on, we grow. We return to the basics and the truth found in scripture. We re-aquaint ourselves with a strong, yet compassionate Savior. We spend time in the book of John- following Jesus' footsteps and we let all falseness fall away. We seek comfort in Psalms and thumb through worn out devotionals.

Personally, through my Christian journey, I have realized there are patterns in my walk. Just like in the Bible- (one of my teachers called it the Jewish Sin Cycle)- the Israelites come to know God in His pursuit of them, there is a honeymoon time, they are tested, some of the time- they are found wanting, they fall, and then God restores them. Do you see that in your own life?

I go back to Experiencing God and the seven realities, truths, steps of faith:
1. God is always at work around us
2. God pursues us- His children
3. God invites us to join Him in HIS work
4. God speaks to us through the Bible, the Holy Spirit, other people and circumstances
5. We go through a Crisis of Belief
6. We make major adjustments to our understanding of God based on HIS truth
7. We come to know God more, we mature a little more

Where are you? Are you in a crisis of belief? Are you joining God where you see Him working? Are you in the process of making major adjustments to your life? When you look at your well of faith- is it deepening or evaporating in the midst of crisis? Do you run or turn to God? Or do you do a little of both?

Whatever action or circumstance you find yourself in right now- there is always hope. You stop. You be still. You listen. You confess. You re-engage with the Savior, you return to His truth, and you allow God to reaffirm your place with Him, allowing God to move in to every part of your life and re-establish Himself as Ruler- on the the throne.

I hear Todd all over this blog. One of his favorite verses to use when he talks of struggling to find faith is the father in Mark 9: 24 Immediately the boy's father cried out and said, "I do believe; help my unbelief.

That is what we need to do in times of testing or crises. We look up to heaven and we cry out, "I believe you can do anything God! Help me with any doubt remaining to truly follow you! Wherever you lead!"