Abba

Romans 8:15
You didn't receive a spirit that makes you a slave to fear once again. Instead you received the Holy Spirit, who makes you God's child. By the Spirit's power we call God "Abba." Abba means Father.

I was, and I am lucky. I have a father that makes God approachable, loving, and always there. My earthly father is someone you can always count on. When I was little and scared in the middle of the night- he was willing to check all the doors and then come to rub my back until I settled down. When Sundays rolled around- he set the example of being excited to go to church. My father wanted to hug me when I didn't want to be hugged. He longed to be with me even when I was being a tacky teenager. He took me on my first date and set my expectations high. All my friends loved him.

Of course, my dad has his faults. But, overall, our family is so very lucky to have his wisdom, his loving nature, his spiritual leadership, and his goofiness as part of our lives.

I started realizing that not everyone was as lucky as I was when I was in the 5th grade. Many of my friends lived only with their moms and their dads were a distant prescence in their lives. Sometimes it bugged me the way they clamored for my dad's attention. But, since my parents worked with youth at our church- I had realized the value of a dad's prescences in childrens' lives.

Parker has a friend right now that is fixing to go spend 6 weeks with his father. He has started wetting his pants periodically as the date for him to leave grows closer. He is so very excited to see his father- but there is anxiety there as well.

Todd and his father. So much there over the years. Pain, Joy, Suffering, Rejection, Longing, Confusion, and Love. Todd's father was absent from the time Todd was born. Over the years- he would move in and out of Todd's life. There were times he wouldn't show up and Todd would be sitting at the window waiting. There were times that he would black out his return address to spite Todd's mother- but what it really did was hurt Todd.

After Todd became a Christian- he chased down his father on the first Father's Day of his Christian life. They talked, reconnected, and started building a relationship. After Todd graduated from college his dad sent Todd his old rolex watch to celebrate the occasion.
Over the years since then, Todd's athiest dad has been a part of our lives. He is a wanderer. Since I met him, he has lived all over the world doing various things. We never knew when we would see him or talk to him but always welcomed him. Todd and He took some cool trips together and Todd treasured the time with his Dad. This past February Todd received an email from his father basically disowning him. He blamed Christianity for the break, he claimed we didn't want him around our children, and all sorts of random statements. Todd tried to combat the arguments with frustration, other arguments to contradict his father's claim, and unconditional love and acceptance. None of that worked. Ultimately Todd's dad asked for his watch back since it represented a father son relationship that they no longer had. Todd truly felt like his legs had been kicked out from underneath him. He has offered to buy the watch from his dad so that Parker will not be hurt by the situation since Parker thinks it will one day be his. We haven't heard anything.

It was so painful to watch. No one had any answers for Todd. We had conversations that Todd did not remember. In many ways- he limped through life for about 4 weeks. It was just too big for him to deal with. In many ways, it still is.

The ONLY saving grace in this whole thing is that God is a FATHER! Not only does he provide a Savior for us through his son- He acts as a Father in our lives. I encouraged Todd to seek out scriptures to reconnect to God as a Father. Let God be the perfect Father. And yet, we all have a longing for an earthly father that loves and accepts us as the Heavenly Father does- even with the discipline that comes with being a child of God.

This blog is unfinished...we will see what happens along this journey