If my life was a school house rock video (does that date me?), it would be kinda funny right now. It would have some little catchy ditty being sung in the background with a little girl diving into a bath of bubbles- bathing suit on- and as the bubbles floated into the air, they would pop and the word 'cantankerous' would pop out of each bubble. And the girl would be playing in the bath with all the cantankerous bubbles, getting more and more cantankerous because she refuses to get out of the bath.
Do you get the picture? I am cantankerous this week. I could blame it on the weather, on my schedule, on my kids, on pretty much anything- but that wouldn't be completely true. Because it is coming from inside. And I am choosing to revel in my cantankerous nature. I could let it go, but I don't want to. Nothing fits here like a good sticking out the tongue at life.
I am homesick for Texas- it happens every year as the leaves start to change. Something that is so beautiful to many- heralds the advent of snow- ehhh! and cold weather- ayahhh! and layers of clothes- bleh! I was just home for a wedding this past weekend and I was sad to leave.
My grandmother is fading. She is, and has always been, such a presence in my life. My mother called me this week and she is moving my grandmother from the nursing home to her house. I long to be there and sit by my grandmother- and laugh with she and my mother. There is something precious about generations of women.
My son. Oh, how I love him. But, his attitude STINKS! He is finding church and anything of God to be something he doesn't want to do. He is rude to those around him, and Todd and I struggle to get through to him. He really doesn't get how close he is to being completely sequestered so he can realize what is truly important- and it is NOT Halloween, Guitar Hero, watching questionable shows, or playing with his friends.
I sleep and dream of beaches, the ocean sounds, and peace. I wake up to chaos, and complaining kids, and making sure backpacks are filled. Todd asks me, "Why are you frustrated?" and I answer, "I am not frustrated, just grumpy."
I take on stress that isn't my own- asking Todd, "How do you deal with such and such? How come this doesn't frustrate you? Am I crazy? And he says to pray. PRAY! Can you believe he can be so insensitive???
And yet....I hear the truth in his words. Because I know all these external frustrations are just external. And God's peace starts within. I hate it when I come to a place in my life and have to re-adjust....AGAIN. So, I start trying to go back through my week and hear God in the midst.
Flying home and sitting next to a man from Nigeria and talking about how every small drop in the bucket is worth it for Africa. Because, if you have lots of drops- ultimately- at some point the bucket will overflow.
Seeing my son cheer on one of his baseball teammates that usually drives him nuts. While the rest of his team wrestled on the bench, Parker was at the fence encouraging Brady.
Having Raney refuse a special treat unless I bought one for Katherine and Parker.
Having Sweetie the cat curl up beside me and purr.
Going to brunch with a special woman and hearing her own struggles with her son- who is someone we totally admire. It keeps things in perspective and allows me to hope.
Having Katherine's teacher tell us there are no worries, no concerns, that Katherine is doing exceptional at school and is a pleasure teach.
Thinking about my Grandmother laughing with my mother over America's Funniest Home videos. The memory and thought of her laughter carries me.
Arriving home and driving straight to Frontline from the airport and getting there just in time to hear Todd talk about our relationship and how 'profound' our marriage is. Warm fuzzies all around.
Hearing Steven Curtis Chapman's song about wanting to "make much of you Jesus" and thinking how true, how inspiring, and such a good reminder.
And like I am trying to teach Parker- I am needing to realize myself. The only things that last are what we do for God- and everything we do, should be for HIS glory. Focusing only on the eternal and not getting lost in what is temporary. Getting out of the cantankerous bath- and going on about my day, being of good cheer, rather than diving in and playing with cantankerous bubbles.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Some Simpsons to Admire
My son's friends love The Simpson's. However, Parker is not allowed to watch them. This causes frustration, repeated questions, and some whining. But, I refuse to allow my son watch people who are so dysfunctional with the children being smarter than the parents and Bart pretty much getting to do exactly what he wants. Something that is funny to grown-ups, teaches disrespect and false ideas to children. So, unlike many in America, we do not admire the Simpson's on TV.
Many years ago when Jessica Simpson and her family first started on TV. I loved watching the foibles and hilarious things that happened in the family. I loved hearing how she first started her career and her connections to Texas. However, over time, I recognized the Spiritual immaturity of her family and though I hate to make any judgements- I question many of the decisions they have made over the years- holding Joe Simpson- the father- most responsible. Not only was he a former minister- but he was also the spiritual head of the home- and therefore is held to a higher account. So, I find it hard to admire these Simpsons.
And...don't even get me started on the OJ thing.
But, in the midst of these high flying family of Simpsons, there is a family in Texas that is named Simpson. Mark, Stacie and their young daughter Bai. They are a family I deeply admire and feel for right now. About 2 years ago the young wife, Stacie, was diagnosed with brain cancer. Many miraculous things occurred and after surgery- it seemed that they got most of the tumor. In the midst of this young family dealing with cancer, Mark's father unexpectedly died.
And then Stacie's brain cancer came back, AND she found out that her mother had cancer- and it was spreading. So, Mark and Stacie started chemotherapy for Stacie- and anyone who has been through chemo or had a loved one go through it- knows how difficult it can be. Stacie's mother kept seeing doctors and yet God had different plans for her.
Yesterday she passed away.
So many things to endure in such a short time.
This Simpson family has continued to have strong faith in the midst of so many trials. Mark is continuing to seek and grow spiritually, trying to provide financially and hold it together emotionally. Bai, their young daughter, has been faced with so much loss at a young age- and yet, she is loved. That in itself is such a gift. And Stacie. Wanting to fight the cancer, wanting to be with her family, having to be strong for her dying mother, and function through the chemotherapy ravaging her body. From one mother to another- she is someone I admire.
Throughout their struggles, we receive updates and emails from Mark. He is constantly turning to the truth in the Bible to deal with each day. He encourages others, he seeks to broaden his understanding of Scripture and his Godly role in his family. He is a rock in the midst of a huge storm. We know he will not be moved or tossed about in spite of all he faces. I cry out for them and ask God why? How can this young family withstand all of this? And yet, Mark sends out scriptures with his emails reminding all of us that God has gone before him, to be strong and courageous, to remember never to forsake God because God has not forsaken you even though you find it hard to understand Gods' timing. He is encouraging us in the midst of his own suffering!
This is from one of Mark's emails:
I was thinking recently about God's sufficient grace especially as it pertains to situations like Stacie's and her mom. I was listening to a friend's sermon about this and wanted to share it with you. Sufficient Grace is the specifically timed infusion of strength by God into a believer during a crisis. It is what allows us to keep going when our own strength has gone. God has given it to Stacie and I several times since Jan 06. He has also given. If you have not had a crisis that shakes you down to core of your faith, you will. When this happens, if you are a believer, God himself will give you the strength you need to make it through. Sometimes it comes at the 11th hour and 59th minute. When it is delayed it is not late. God is never late. His timing is always perfect.
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified...for the Lord your God goes with you, he will never leave you nor forsake you. - Dueteronomy 31:6
That is not to say they don't have their bad days, their days of crying, their days of shouting out to God....but they are weathering their storms. They are truly understanding what it means to hold on only to God.
They are inspirations, they are spiritual giants, they deserve the publicity that America so cheaply pours out. But, most of all they deserve the prayers of their Christian brothers and sisters even as the Heavens are applauding them on a daily basis.
Please pray for them. Pray for healing for Stacie. Pray for them to be financially taken care of. Pray for their young daughter Bai. Pray for Mark to have the strength to be the backbone of his family. Pray for Stacie's dad who has watched his wife die and continues to watch his daughter suffer. And pray for their family as they walk through the coming days in the grieving, yet celebration, of Stacie's mother's death.
This is why we are a family of Christians. To uphold our brothers and sisters and pray for them.
Many years ago when Jessica Simpson and her family first started on TV. I loved watching the foibles and hilarious things that happened in the family. I loved hearing how she first started her career and her connections to Texas. However, over time, I recognized the Spiritual immaturity of her family and though I hate to make any judgements- I question many of the decisions they have made over the years- holding Joe Simpson- the father- most responsible. Not only was he a former minister- but he was also the spiritual head of the home- and therefore is held to a higher account. So, I find it hard to admire these Simpsons.
And...don't even get me started on the OJ thing.
But, in the midst of these high flying family of Simpsons, there is a family in Texas that is named Simpson. Mark, Stacie and their young daughter Bai. They are a family I deeply admire and feel for right now. About 2 years ago the young wife, Stacie, was diagnosed with brain cancer. Many miraculous things occurred and after surgery- it seemed that they got most of the tumor. In the midst of this young family dealing with cancer, Mark's father unexpectedly died.
And then Stacie's brain cancer came back, AND she found out that her mother had cancer- and it was spreading. So, Mark and Stacie started chemotherapy for Stacie- and anyone who has been through chemo or had a loved one go through it- knows how difficult it can be. Stacie's mother kept seeing doctors and yet God had different plans for her.
Yesterday she passed away.
So many things to endure in such a short time.
This Simpson family has continued to have strong faith in the midst of so many trials. Mark is continuing to seek and grow spiritually, trying to provide financially and hold it together emotionally. Bai, their young daughter, has been faced with so much loss at a young age- and yet, she is loved. That in itself is such a gift. And Stacie. Wanting to fight the cancer, wanting to be with her family, having to be strong for her dying mother, and function through the chemotherapy ravaging her body. From one mother to another- she is someone I admire.
Throughout their struggles, we receive updates and emails from Mark. He is constantly turning to the truth in the Bible to deal with each day. He encourages others, he seeks to broaden his understanding of Scripture and his Godly role in his family. He is a rock in the midst of a huge storm. We know he will not be moved or tossed about in spite of all he faces. I cry out for them and ask God why? How can this young family withstand all of this? And yet, Mark sends out scriptures with his emails reminding all of us that God has gone before him, to be strong and courageous, to remember never to forsake God because God has not forsaken you even though you find it hard to understand Gods' timing. He is encouraging us in the midst of his own suffering!
This is from one of Mark's emails:
I was thinking recently about God's sufficient grace especially as it pertains to situations like Stacie's and her mom. I was listening to a friend's sermon about this and wanted to share it with you. Sufficient Grace is the specifically timed infusion of strength by God into a believer during a crisis. It is what allows us to keep going when our own strength has gone. God has given it to Stacie and I several times since Jan 06. He has also given. If you have not had a crisis that shakes you down to core of your faith, you will. When this happens, if you are a believer, God himself will give you the strength you need to make it through. Sometimes it comes at the 11th hour and 59th minute. When it is delayed it is not late. God is never late. His timing is always perfect.
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified...for the Lord your God goes with you, he will never leave you nor forsake you. - Dueteronomy 31:6
That is not to say they don't have their bad days, their days of crying, their days of shouting out to God....but they are weathering their storms. They are truly understanding what it means to hold on only to God.
They are inspirations, they are spiritual giants, they deserve the publicity that America so cheaply pours out. But, most of all they deserve the prayers of their Christian brothers and sisters even as the Heavens are applauding them on a daily basis.
Please pray for them. Pray for healing for Stacie. Pray for them to be financially taken care of. Pray for their young daughter Bai. Pray for Mark to have the strength to be the backbone of his family. Pray for Stacie's dad who has watched his wife die and continues to watch his daughter suffer. And pray for their family as they walk through the coming days in the grieving, yet celebration, of Stacie's mother's death.
This is why we are a family of Christians. To uphold our brothers and sisters and pray for them.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Grieving God
Todd always finds it a little frightening the way my brain works. I think it is just because he is a man. But, I do understand that I work out a lot of things within so by the time I blurt out something it seems rather...ummmm...'out of the blue'. In this blog...I am going to try and lead you through my train of thought you won't misunderstand the conclusions or results of the blog. Maybe some aspect of the journey will minister to you.
I have been listening to the song "East to West" by Casting Crowns and losing myself in the melody and words. The lyrics can be found here: http://www.elyrics.net/read/c/casting-crowns-lyrics/east-to-west-lyrics.html. The other day while listening, I found myself thinking, "these are super heroes of worship- what kinds of sins can they be singing about?" "Why would they be afraid of God leaving them in their sin?"
I quickly realized the faulty aspect of this thinking- Galatians 6:3-4
If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else. We are never to compare ourselves to others- but only to Christ who desires us to follow his ways (Philippians 2:5-6: Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped,) - so who cares why Casting Crowns wrote the song!
But, I couldn't quite leave that train of thought....it continued in my brain and I started thinking about some things I had heard recently from other believers- classifying their sins in relation to other's sins- when God makes NO distinction. All sin is abhorrent to Him.
And that thought led to the idea that for many of us as believers- we have left old lifestyles and and outward lives of sin- but we all still struggle with sin. The Bible is very clear on this point- Romans 3:23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. None of us are perfect...we all need God's forgiveness on a daily basis.
And then while reading a book, I came across this quote by St. Augustine: What you are must always displease you, if you would attain to that which you are not.
This put my thoughts into perspective for me and brought clarity. We need to relearn, or learn for the first time, to be dissatisfied with the sin in our lives- no matter what it looks like!
Conclusion Alert:
I believe that many of us, as followers of Christ, have forgotten to perceive the seriousness of ALL sin. We do not understand the gravity of gossiping, of lies, of ungodly thoughts, of many sins that have no outward manifestations. And all of this is the sin of pride. Do you need to reread that again?
I think the main sin we, as faithful Christians, struggle with is Pride. We struggle to grasp that all sin grieves our Lord, all the while patting ourselves on the back that we are 'not like so and so".
We wave away the 'little' sins and unconsciously compare ourselves to others. We need to remember that our Savior died for all our sins and all sin separates us from God- no matter how we look on the outside. 1 John 5:17 says, "All unrighteousness is sin". That is pretty clear!
So what does that mean for us?
I believe for me it means that I need to realize the gravity of my sinful nature and how it grieves the Holy Spirit. I believe I shouldn't wallow in depression, or false guilt- but confess all my sins, asking God to reveal the inner workings of my heart and mind and lay it out before my Father in Heaven and allow Him to make me clean. As far as the east from the west- that is how far my sins go when I confess and ask for forgiveness.
But all of us, even the Christian giants, need to get a grip on the cancer of sin. In this fallen world, we need to stay away from classifying sin and thinking we look pretty good in comparison to those around us. Thomas Carlyle: "The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none."
And then we need to respond to the sin in our lives make changes. Renewing our mind, catching our words before they fall out of our mouths, asking God to continually make known to us the sin that resides in our hearts.
There is none like God- except for God! All of us fall short! But, God is there for us to encourage us, to cleanse us, to make us walk in ways that please Him. He doesn't want our false humility or for us to not accept His grace-so sacrificially given- but God does desire us to live lives of change- making it our goal to please him in ALL respects.
I close with this passage from Isaiah 40:5-28 to remind you of the grandeur of God:
And the glory of the LORD will be revealed, and all mankind together will see it. For the mouth of the LORD has spoken." A voice says, "Cry out." And I said, "What shall I cry?" "All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field. The grass withers and the flowers fall, because the breath of the LORD blows on them. Surely the people are grass. The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever."
You who bring good tidings to Zion, go up on a high mountain. You who bring good tidings to Jerusalem, lift up your voice with a shout, lift it up, do not be afraid; say to the towns of Judah, "Here is your God!" See, the Sovereign LORD comes with power, and his arm rules for him. See, his reward is with him, and his recompense accompanies him. He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young. Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand, or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens? Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket, or weighed the mountains on the scales and the hills in a balance? Who has understood the mind of the LORD, or instructed him as his counselor? Whom did the LORD consult to enlighten him, and who taught him the right way? Who was it that taught him knowledge or showed him the path of understanding?
Surely the nations are like a drop in a bucket; they are regarded as dust on the scales; he weighs the islands as though they were fine dust. Lebanon is not sufficient for altar fires, nor its animals enough for burnt offerings. Before him all the nations are as nothing; they are regarded by him as worthless and less than nothing.
To whom, then, will you compare God? What image will you compare him to?
As for an idol, a craftsman casts it, and a goldsmith overlays it with gold and fashions silver chains for it. A man too poor to present such an offering selects wood that will not rot. He looks for a skilled craftsman to set up an idol that will not topple.
Do you not know? Have you not heard? Has it not been told you from the beginning? Have you not understood since the earth was founded?
He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth, and its people are like grasshoppers. He stretches out the heavens like a canopy, and spreads them out like a tent to live in. He brings princes to naught and reduces the rulers of this world to nothing. No sooner are they planted, no sooner are they sown, no sooner do they take root in the ground, than he blows on them and they wither, and a whirlwind sweeps them away like chaff.
"To whom will you compare me? Or who is my equal?" says the Holy One.
Lift your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all these? He who brings out the starry host one by one, and calls them each by name. Because of his great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing. Why do you say, O Jacob, and complain, O Israel, "My way is hidden from the LORD; my cause is disregarded by my God"?
Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.
I have been listening to the song "East to West" by Casting Crowns and losing myself in the melody and words. The lyrics can be found here: http://www.elyrics.net/read/c/casting-crowns-lyrics/east-to-west-lyrics.html. The other day while listening, I found myself thinking, "these are super heroes of worship- what kinds of sins can they be singing about?" "Why would they be afraid of God leaving them in their sin?"
I quickly realized the faulty aspect of this thinking- Galatians 6:3-4
If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else. We are never to compare ourselves to others- but only to Christ who desires us to follow his ways (Philippians 2:5-6: Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped,) - so who cares why Casting Crowns wrote the song!
But, I couldn't quite leave that train of thought....it continued in my brain and I started thinking about some things I had heard recently from other believers- classifying their sins in relation to other's sins- when God makes NO distinction. All sin is abhorrent to Him.
And that thought led to the idea that for many of us as believers- we have left old lifestyles and and outward lives of sin- but we all still struggle with sin. The Bible is very clear on this point- Romans 3:23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. None of us are perfect...we all need God's forgiveness on a daily basis.
And then while reading a book, I came across this quote by St. Augustine: What you are must always displease you, if you would attain to that which you are not.
This put my thoughts into perspective for me and brought clarity. We need to relearn, or learn for the first time, to be dissatisfied with the sin in our lives- no matter what it looks like!
Conclusion Alert:
I believe that many of us, as followers of Christ, have forgotten to perceive the seriousness of ALL sin. We do not understand the gravity of gossiping, of lies, of ungodly thoughts, of many sins that have no outward manifestations. And all of this is the sin of pride. Do you need to reread that again?
I think the main sin we, as faithful Christians, struggle with is Pride. We struggle to grasp that all sin grieves our Lord, all the while patting ourselves on the back that we are 'not like so and so".
We wave away the 'little' sins and unconsciously compare ourselves to others. We need to remember that our Savior died for all our sins and all sin separates us from God- no matter how we look on the outside. 1 John 5:17 says, "All unrighteousness is sin". That is pretty clear!
So what does that mean for us?
I believe for me it means that I need to realize the gravity of my sinful nature and how it grieves the Holy Spirit. I believe I shouldn't wallow in depression, or false guilt- but confess all my sins, asking God to reveal the inner workings of my heart and mind and lay it out before my Father in Heaven and allow Him to make me clean. As far as the east from the west- that is how far my sins go when I confess and ask for forgiveness.
But all of us, even the Christian giants, need to get a grip on the cancer of sin. In this fallen world, we need to stay away from classifying sin and thinking we look pretty good in comparison to those around us. Thomas Carlyle: "The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none."
And then we need to respond to the sin in our lives make changes. Renewing our mind, catching our words before they fall out of our mouths, asking God to continually make known to us the sin that resides in our hearts.
There is none like God- except for God! All of us fall short! But, God is there for us to encourage us, to cleanse us, to make us walk in ways that please Him. He doesn't want our false humility or for us to not accept His grace-so sacrificially given- but God does desire us to live lives of change- making it our goal to please him in ALL respects.
I close with this passage from Isaiah 40:5-28 to remind you of the grandeur of God:
And the glory of the LORD will be revealed, and all mankind together will see it. For the mouth of the LORD has spoken." A voice says, "Cry out." And I said, "What shall I cry?" "All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field. The grass withers and the flowers fall, because the breath of the LORD blows on them. Surely the people are grass. The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever."
You who bring good tidings to Zion, go up on a high mountain. You who bring good tidings to Jerusalem, lift up your voice with a shout, lift it up, do not be afraid; say to the towns of Judah, "Here is your God!" See, the Sovereign LORD comes with power, and his arm rules for him. See, his reward is with him, and his recompense accompanies him. He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young. Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand, or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens? Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket, or weighed the mountains on the scales and the hills in a balance? Who has understood the mind of the LORD, or instructed him as his counselor? Whom did the LORD consult to enlighten him, and who taught him the right way? Who was it that taught him knowledge or showed him the path of understanding?
Surely the nations are like a drop in a bucket; they are regarded as dust on the scales; he weighs the islands as though they were fine dust. Lebanon is not sufficient for altar fires, nor its animals enough for burnt offerings. Before him all the nations are as nothing; they are regarded by him as worthless and less than nothing.
To whom, then, will you compare God? What image will you compare him to?
As for an idol, a craftsman casts it, and a goldsmith overlays it with gold and fashions silver chains for it. A man too poor to present such an offering selects wood that will not rot. He looks for a skilled craftsman to set up an idol that will not topple.
Do you not know? Have you not heard? Has it not been told you from the beginning? Have you not understood since the earth was founded?
He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth, and its people are like grasshoppers. He stretches out the heavens like a canopy, and spreads them out like a tent to live in. He brings princes to naught and reduces the rulers of this world to nothing. No sooner are they planted, no sooner are they sown, no sooner do they take root in the ground, than he blows on them and they wither, and a whirlwind sweeps them away like chaff.
"To whom will you compare me? Or who is my equal?" says the Holy One.
Lift your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all these? He who brings out the starry host one by one, and calls them each by name. Because of his great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing. Why do you say, O Jacob, and complain, O Israel, "My way is hidden from the LORD; my cause is disregarded by my God"?
Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Envelopes, Jeans, and Wineskins
I am a member of www.paperbackswap.com and I mail and receive books from all over the country. Todd got tired of my high book costs and found this website for me. For the price of mailing a book media mail- I receive a book! Pretty cool.
So, one day I was mailing a book, and rather than using the paper packaging I can print myself, I decided to use an envelope. I opened the envelope and starting trying to stuff my book inside. It didn't fit easily, so I decided to wedge it in...trying to squeak it past the sides, going side to side- you know the drill. I was determined to fit that book inside the envelope- when low and behold- the sides ripped! Wasted try, wasted envelope.
Tina Fabulous. Do any of you remember her from The Bachelor? I can still see her before one of her dates trying to squeeze inside a pair of jeans by lying down on the bed and putting them on. I thought, how ridiculous! How uncomfortable! But, she seemed to be just fine with the whole squeezing into a pair of jeans and it seemed to be a normal occurrence in her jean-wearing life. For me, I thank the person who invented tencel fabric and stretch jeans- I know, not very fashionable- but I like to be able to breath when I wear jeans. Don't even get me started on skinny jeans- the whole name just causes me to gag.
As I was trying to stuff my book inside the envelope- a sermon Todd had just given came to mind. When he talked about trying to stuff our new life of Christianity inside the old sinful life. It doesn't fit, it doesn't make sense...and yet many times we still try to make them cohabitate- trying to live in both worlds. This creates dissatisfaction, discomfort, and a feeling of not belonging in either one.
Jesus told them this story: "No person takes cloth off a new coat to cover a hole on an old coat. Why? Because he ruins the new coat, and the cloth from the new coat will not be the same as the old cloth. People never pour new wine into old wine bags. Why? Because the new wine will break the bags, and the wine will spill out and the wine bags will be ruined. People always put new wine into new wine bags. No person that drinks old wine wants new wine. Why? Because he says, 'The old wine is fine.'" Luke 5:36-39 ERV
There are a couple of points I want to bring out from this passage. The main one being- that our life in Christ is a NEW work- Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. Old things have disappeared, and - look! - all things have become new (2 Cor. 5:17).
In a devotional by Phil Ware: "Jesus' point is clear. Don't try to limit God's new life in Christ. Don't try to contain it with your old religious categories. Don't try to dilute it with your old religious practices. Jesus brings something new. Celebrate it. Enjoy its blessings. Be challenged by its demands and rejoice in its promises. But don't ever try to simply attach it to what you had before. The call of Christ is new, fresh, and all encompassing. Begin each day with fresh eyes and new ears with the expectation that the Lord will do something you have never seen or expected. You won't feel safe. It won't be predictable. But, it will be marvelous!"
Many times, we try to 'patch' God into our old understanding of who He is, we try to patch God's truth onto our idea of what religious means, and we try to patch Him onto our sinful life. But, God desires to do something new with us. Not patch up our life- but a new creation. How wonderful when we allow God the freedom to do with us what He desires!
I think another point to recognize from this passage is found in verse 39; "No one who has been drinking old wine wants new wine, for he says, 'The old is excellent!" God understands our struggles. He knows that it is hard for us to let go of the known to embrace the unknown. But, he also knows the freedom, the peace, and the life that awaits those who throw out the old wine skins and pour the new wine into new wine skins.
Philippians 2:13- For it is God who is producing in you both the desire and the ability to do what pleases him.
Again from Phil Ware: "The old life and its temptations lure us and invite us back. So often we succumb. The old religious way of thinking, one based on works righteousness and earning our own salvation, often seeps back into our Christian way of thinking, robbing us of its vitality. The lure of the familiar is powerful. It is also a deadly thief, robbing our new life in Christ of its grace, joy, and victory. Don't go back and mix some other form of religion you know with the radical call of Jesus!"
God desires us to please Him, not straddle the fence, not live lukewarm lives or He will spew us out.
Pray that God will help you to live fully sold out, committed to pleasing Him in all things- turning away from the old, and allowing Him to do something NEW in your life.
So, one day I was mailing a book, and rather than using the paper packaging I can print myself, I decided to use an envelope. I opened the envelope and starting trying to stuff my book inside. It didn't fit easily, so I decided to wedge it in...trying to squeak it past the sides, going side to side- you know the drill. I was determined to fit that book inside the envelope- when low and behold- the sides ripped! Wasted try, wasted envelope.
Tina Fabulous. Do any of you remember her from The Bachelor? I can still see her before one of her dates trying to squeeze inside a pair of jeans by lying down on the bed and putting them on. I thought, how ridiculous! How uncomfortable! But, she seemed to be just fine with the whole squeezing into a pair of jeans and it seemed to be a normal occurrence in her jean-wearing life. For me, I thank the person who invented tencel fabric and stretch jeans- I know, not very fashionable- but I like to be able to breath when I wear jeans. Don't even get me started on skinny jeans- the whole name just causes me to gag.
As I was trying to stuff my book inside the envelope- a sermon Todd had just given came to mind. When he talked about trying to stuff our new life of Christianity inside the old sinful life. It doesn't fit, it doesn't make sense...and yet many times we still try to make them cohabitate- trying to live in both worlds. This creates dissatisfaction, discomfort, and a feeling of not belonging in either one.
Jesus told them this story: "No person takes cloth off a new coat to cover a hole on an old coat. Why? Because he ruins the new coat, and the cloth from the new coat will not be the same as the old cloth. People never pour new wine into old wine bags. Why? Because the new wine will break the bags, and the wine will spill out and the wine bags will be ruined. People always put new wine into new wine bags. No person that drinks old wine wants new wine. Why? Because he says, 'The old wine is fine.'" Luke 5:36-39 ERV
There are a couple of points I want to bring out from this passage. The main one being- that our life in Christ is a NEW work- Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. Old things have disappeared, and - look! - all things have become new (2 Cor. 5:17).
In a devotional by Phil Ware: "Jesus' point is clear. Don't try to limit God's new life in Christ. Don't try to contain it with your old religious categories. Don't try to dilute it with your old religious practices. Jesus brings something new. Celebrate it. Enjoy its blessings. Be challenged by its demands and rejoice in its promises. But don't ever try to simply attach it to what you had before. The call of Christ is new, fresh, and all encompassing. Begin each day with fresh eyes and new ears with the expectation that the Lord will do something you have never seen or expected. You won't feel safe. It won't be predictable. But, it will be marvelous!"
Many times, we try to 'patch' God into our old understanding of who He is, we try to patch God's truth onto our idea of what religious means, and we try to patch Him onto our sinful life. But, God desires to do something new with us. Not patch up our life- but a new creation. How wonderful when we allow God the freedom to do with us what He desires!
I think another point to recognize from this passage is found in verse 39; "No one who has been drinking old wine wants new wine, for he says, 'The old is excellent!" God understands our struggles. He knows that it is hard for us to let go of the known to embrace the unknown. But, he also knows the freedom, the peace, and the life that awaits those who throw out the old wine skins and pour the new wine into new wine skins.
Philippians 2:13- For it is God who is producing in you both the desire and the ability to do what pleases him.
Again from Phil Ware: "The old life and its temptations lure us and invite us back. So often we succumb. The old religious way of thinking, one based on works righteousness and earning our own salvation, often seeps back into our Christian way of thinking, robbing us of its vitality. The lure of the familiar is powerful. It is also a deadly thief, robbing our new life in Christ of its grace, joy, and victory. Don't go back and mix some other form of religion you know with the radical call of Jesus!"
God desires us to please Him, not straddle the fence, not live lukewarm lives or He will spew us out.
Pray that God will help you to live fully sold out, committed to pleasing Him in all things- turning away from the old, and allowing Him to do something NEW in your life.
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Undivided Heart- Brokenness
*Thank you all for your emails, comments, sharing of stories, prayers and encouragement regarding Parker. He is actually doing much better right now and we are heading to another doctor later this week for more tests, etc. He is really doing well- and hasn't been in pain since Wednesday.*
Brokenness. There are many ideas that come to my head regarding this issue...a lamb whose legs get broken when it wanders away from the shepherd so that it can relearn to hear the shepherd's voice. A wild horse that must be broken before it can be ridden, and mosaics- made up of many broken tiles into a beautiful picture.
Many of us are broken as well. Sometimes life has caused the cracks, and other times we have felt the Saviors hand molding us and breaking us.
This is a poem I have always loved- I don't know the author but I have carried it around with me over the years and it comes to mind periodically when I am experiencing certain things. It is a conversation based on scripture and the promises of God....
God chooses to break me.
But I am strong and I resist His breaking of me.
He breaks me in different degrees but all are separation. He breaks my shell of self and circumstances to reach into my character. He fills it with Him. The more He breaks and fills the gaps with the mortar of Him, the less you see of me.
To break; to interrupt as to break communication. Interrupt the old self that sends signals and impulses to old ways.
Link to His spirit
To break; to disconnect as to unplug from an energy source. Pull the chord from my strength.
Plug into Him.
To break; to breach as in a contract. He broke my contract with sin. I am longer bound to live by the law.
For I am free under Grace.
Oh, I am so unwilling to be willing. It's painful, Lord, foreign and fearful.
I know my beloved. But I have gone before you. Do not fear.
It will show my brittleness, fragility, frailty, how easily I crumble.
Yes, my beloved. For when you are all of these things, then My strength can show instead.
You said you will tear me to pieces!
My loved one, I promised to heal you. I must break you into shattered pieces to prove your nothingness and My completeness.
But Lord, I can't sweep me back together.
Exactly.
Lord, if you break me I'll leak. That seems useless.
Trust Me.
It hurts there where you touched me and now I am crippled.
Listen for My voice of love, little one. You must return to me for healing.
I am an empty pot.
You must be hollow so I can fill you with Myself and the fullness of My love.
But Father, the kneading, the pounding with a little time to rise in the oven. And once I seem whole, you tear me apart again.
I must bring you through all of this, beloved child. You must be torn asunder that I might serve you to those that hunger and thirst for Me.
Do you see it? Do you feel the love, the plans He has, can you understand? As I was writing all I could think about was Jesus' words in the upper room as he spoke to His disciples during the last supper-Luke 22:19 And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, "This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me."
You see, Jesus understood. He understands. He went through pain, suffering, humiliation, and even death- so that He could serve us....and save us.
Brokenness. So necessary to being undivided. Once again Jesus is revealed in dichotomy. It is through breaking us that he binds us together with something stronger, everlasting and more useful. It is through the breaking- that we cling to the vine of Christ. It is through the breaking that we are able to discern the Savior's voice- and find true joy.
John 3:27-30
To this John (the Baptist) replied, "A man can receive only what is given him from heaven. You yourselves can testify that I said, 'I am not the Christ but am sent ahead of him.' The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him, and is full of joy when he hears the bridegroom's voice. That joy is mine, and it is now complete. He must become greater; I must become less.
We must all decrease- decrease the old self, decrease the pride, decrease the sin, decrease the dependence on self, decrease; so that God, the creator of all, the alpha and omega, the One that is higher than the Heavens can increase...so His light can fill us up, showing through our cracks, and sealing us with the Holy Spirit. We are sealed- made better- when God is increased in our lives.
Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name Psalm 86:11
Lon Solomon's book Brokenness is wonderful to understand brokenness and God's purpose through it. Ken Gire, a writer who has great analogies and easy to read writing, has two books that I recommend as well: The Work of His Hands : The Agony and Ecstasy of Being Conformed to the Image of Christ(based on the Sculpture the Pieta by Michelangelo) and The Weathering Grace of God: The Beauty God Brings from Life's Upheavals
Brokenness. There are many ideas that come to my head regarding this issue...a lamb whose legs get broken when it wanders away from the shepherd so that it can relearn to hear the shepherd's voice. A wild horse that must be broken before it can be ridden, and mosaics- made up of many broken tiles into a beautiful picture.
Many of us are broken as well. Sometimes life has caused the cracks, and other times we have felt the Saviors hand molding us and breaking us.
This is a poem I have always loved- I don't know the author but I have carried it around with me over the years and it comes to mind periodically when I am experiencing certain things. It is a conversation based on scripture and the promises of God....
God chooses to break me.
But I am strong and I resist His breaking of me.
He breaks me in different degrees but all are separation. He breaks my shell of self and circumstances to reach into my character. He fills it with Him. The more He breaks and fills the gaps with the mortar of Him, the less you see of me.
To break; to interrupt as to break communication. Interrupt the old self that sends signals and impulses to old ways.
Link to His spirit
To break; to disconnect as to unplug from an energy source. Pull the chord from my strength.
Plug into Him.
To break; to breach as in a contract. He broke my contract with sin. I am longer bound to live by the law.
For I am free under Grace.
Oh, I am so unwilling to be willing. It's painful, Lord, foreign and fearful.
I know my beloved. But I have gone before you. Do not fear.
It will show my brittleness, fragility, frailty, how easily I crumble.
Yes, my beloved. For when you are all of these things, then My strength can show instead.
You said you will tear me to pieces!
My loved one, I promised to heal you. I must break you into shattered pieces to prove your nothingness and My completeness.
But Lord, I can't sweep me back together.
Exactly.
Lord, if you break me I'll leak. That seems useless.
Trust Me.
It hurts there where you touched me and now I am crippled.
Listen for My voice of love, little one. You must return to me for healing.
I am an empty pot.
You must be hollow so I can fill you with Myself and the fullness of My love.
But Father, the kneading, the pounding with a little time to rise in the oven. And once I seem whole, you tear me apart again.
I must bring you through all of this, beloved child. You must be torn asunder that I might serve you to those that hunger and thirst for Me.
Do you see it? Do you feel the love, the plans He has, can you understand? As I was writing all I could think about was Jesus' words in the upper room as he spoke to His disciples during the last supper-Luke 22:19 And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, "This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me."
You see, Jesus understood. He understands. He went through pain, suffering, humiliation, and even death- so that He could serve us....and save us.
Brokenness. So necessary to being undivided. Once again Jesus is revealed in dichotomy. It is through breaking us that he binds us together with something stronger, everlasting and more useful. It is through the breaking- that we cling to the vine of Christ. It is through the breaking that we are able to discern the Savior's voice- and find true joy.
John 3:27-30
To this John (the Baptist) replied, "A man can receive only what is given him from heaven. You yourselves can testify that I said, 'I am not the Christ but am sent ahead of him.' The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him, and is full of joy when he hears the bridegroom's voice. That joy is mine, and it is now complete. He must become greater; I must become less.
We must all decrease- decrease the old self, decrease the pride, decrease the sin, decrease the dependence on self, decrease; so that God, the creator of all, the alpha and omega, the One that is higher than the Heavens can increase...so His light can fill us up, showing through our cracks, and sealing us with the Holy Spirit. We are sealed- made better- when God is increased in our lives.
Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name Psalm 86:11
Lon Solomon's book Brokenness is wonderful to understand brokenness and God's purpose through it. Ken Gire, a writer who has great analogies and easy to read writing, has two books that I recommend as well: The Work of His Hands : The Agony and Ecstasy of Being Conformed to the Image of Christ(based on the Sculpture the Pieta by Michelangelo) and The Weathering Grace of God: The Beauty God Brings from Life's Upheavals
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Undivided Heart- Suffering
Psalm 86:11
Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.
My son ran past me with tears running down his face. The door slammed behind him. I paid the doctor bill, grabbed Raney's hand and followed Parker out to the car. He was sitting in the back seat kicking the seat in front of him and crying. I put Raney in her booster chair, and went around to my seat. As soon as I got in the car, Parker started screaming out his frustrations. I stopped him, and then he just started crying really hard.
The doctor had just told Parker that he didn't need to run anymore. We are having trouble with some joint issues and pain in Parker's legs, hips, and feet. We haven't discovered why, or how and we are trying to chase down the issue by visiting various doctors. Last November, Parker ended up in the emergency room because both his knees were swollen, he couldn't walk, and he was running fever. It quickly went away with the right medication- but we still haven't found the cause and have gotten mixed diagnoses. We have ruled out any life threatening issues (praise God!)- it just about finding the source of the pain at this point.
Since then, Parker has had various pain, stiffness but never the swollen joints or fever. In the last few weeks, the pain has progressed to every other day and one day he had trouble walking without crying because of pain in his feet.
You have to understand Parker. He is full of life, energy, and competition. He wants to do what his friends are doing, he wants to play baseball, run, and be a rough and tumble boy. At school, they are doing a mileage contest. For every five miles they run, they receive a plastic foot to put on a chain. You would think these little feet were diamonds the way the want to get them. Parker spends his recess running laps. He has two feet already. But....his pain has been increasing and he has gone to the nurse at school and had trouble when he got home.
Parker couldn't wait to play baseball this season. The first practice- he got to be catcher! What fun! That position comes with accessories...and Parker loved it! But...when he got home- his knees were hurting very badly and he had trouble sleeping.
So, my son was crying in the car on the way home from the doctor. I calmed him down. As he was crying, this is what he was saying, "Why is this happening to me? I have to be able to run, this isn't fair! What about Katherine and Raney- they don't like to run as much as me." And finally, "Doesn't God see that I am hurting?"
Wow! How many times have we all felt that at one time or another. Doesn't God see we are hurting?
I talked to Parker. I told him that God does see that he is hurting- but we don't always understand how and why God works the way he does- but we do know that God has a plan. I shared with him about Paul:
2 Corinthians 12:7-10
To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
I shared with Parker that we didn't exactly know the source of Paul's weakness...and that though he had asked God to remove it- God had a reason for the suffering. I told Parker that we needed to rejoice that it wasn't a life or death issue. And I told him, that God was there for him in the midst of his pain. That Parker needed to find some way to be content within the circumstances he was experiencing- waiting on God.
I have to admit, this didn't go very far to assure my eight year old son. It was too deep, too hard, too distant for him to comprehend. He doesn't care that if he damages his joints now, he might not walk as an old man- he wants to run, play baseball and get those darn plastic feet! But, as a parent, I have to take every opportunity to teach the truth...repeatedly. A second opinion the next day allows him to run unless there is pain- but Parker has a hard time regulating that...so we will see.
His experience, and mine as his parent, reminds me that to be undivided with God- we must find a way through the pain, suffering, hurt, and distress that happens in life- to stay close to our Heavenly Father. Cry out, be honest with God- but seek him through it all. God has the lid of the puzzle box- seeing the whole picture- we can just see the various pieces as he reveals them one by one. His goal is to make us more like him- for HIS glory.
And there is hope in the midst of the suffering. Romans 5:3-5- Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
Does this hope mean that everything will be okay and solved like we want? No. It means we already have the hope living inside of us- the hope of Christ is the gift of eternal life and all that a life with him entails- including the suffering. The hope is not that it goes away according to our desires- but that God will work through our suffering, using it for His glory, shaping us according to His plan- so that we are more like Him, serving Him.
I hate that my son is in pain. Any parent hates to see their child suffer. Don't you think God sees it and hurts with us as well? But, we must trust, and continue to follow the commandments of God.
James 5:10-11
Brothers, as an example of patience in the face of suffering, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. As you know, we consider blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job's perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.
1 Peter 5:10
And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.
Mercy Me's Song- Bring the Rain
I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain
I am yours regardless of the clouds that may loom above because you are much greater than my pain you who made a way for me suffering your destiny so tell me whats a little rain
Holy, holy, holy Holy, holy, holy
is the lord God almighty
is the lord God almighty
I'm forever singing
Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.
My son ran past me with tears running down his face. The door slammed behind him. I paid the doctor bill, grabbed Raney's hand and followed Parker out to the car. He was sitting in the back seat kicking the seat in front of him and crying. I put Raney in her booster chair, and went around to my seat. As soon as I got in the car, Parker started screaming out his frustrations. I stopped him, and then he just started crying really hard.
The doctor had just told Parker that he didn't need to run anymore. We are having trouble with some joint issues and pain in Parker's legs, hips, and feet. We haven't discovered why, or how and we are trying to chase down the issue by visiting various doctors. Last November, Parker ended up in the emergency room because both his knees were swollen, he couldn't walk, and he was running fever. It quickly went away with the right medication- but we still haven't found the cause and have gotten mixed diagnoses. We have ruled out any life threatening issues (praise God!)- it just about finding the source of the pain at this point.
Since then, Parker has had various pain, stiffness but never the swollen joints or fever. In the last few weeks, the pain has progressed to every other day and one day he had trouble walking without crying because of pain in his feet.
You have to understand Parker. He is full of life, energy, and competition. He wants to do what his friends are doing, he wants to play baseball, run, and be a rough and tumble boy. At school, they are doing a mileage contest. For every five miles they run, they receive a plastic foot to put on a chain. You would think these little feet were diamonds the way the want to get them. Parker spends his recess running laps. He has two feet already. But....his pain has been increasing and he has gone to the nurse at school and had trouble when he got home.
Parker couldn't wait to play baseball this season. The first practice- he got to be catcher! What fun! That position comes with accessories...and Parker loved it! But...when he got home- his knees were hurting very badly and he had trouble sleeping.
So, my son was crying in the car on the way home from the doctor. I calmed him down. As he was crying, this is what he was saying, "Why is this happening to me? I have to be able to run, this isn't fair! What about Katherine and Raney- they don't like to run as much as me." And finally, "Doesn't God see that I am hurting?"
Wow! How many times have we all felt that at one time or another. Doesn't God see we are hurting?
I talked to Parker. I told him that God does see that he is hurting- but we don't always understand how and why God works the way he does- but we do know that God has a plan. I shared with him about Paul:
2 Corinthians 12:7-10
To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
I shared with Parker that we didn't exactly know the source of Paul's weakness...and that though he had asked God to remove it- God had a reason for the suffering. I told Parker that we needed to rejoice that it wasn't a life or death issue. And I told him, that God was there for him in the midst of his pain. That Parker needed to find some way to be content within the circumstances he was experiencing- waiting on God.
I have to admit, this didn't go very far to assure my eight year old son. It was too deep, too hard, too distant for him to comprehend. He doesn't care that if he damages his joints now, he might not walk as an old man- he wants to run, play baseball and get those darn plastic feet! But, as a parent, I have to take every opportunity to teach the truth...repeatedly. A second opinion the next day allows him to run unless there is pain- but Parker has a hard time regulating that...so we will see.
His experience, and mine as his parent, reminds me that to be undivided with God- we must find a way through the pain, suffering, hurt, and distress that happens in life- to stay close to our Heavenly Father. Cry out, be honest with God- but seek him through it all. God has the lid of the puzzle box- seeing the whole picture- we can just see the various pieces as he reveals them one by one. His goal is to make us more like him- for HIS glory.
And there is hope in the midst of the suffering. Romans 5:3-5- Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
Does this hope mean that everything will be okay and solved like we want? No. It means we already have the hope living inside of us- the hope of Christ is the gift of eternal life and all that a life with him entails- including the suffering. The hope is not that it goes away according to our desires- but that God will work through our suffering, using it for His glory, shaping us according to His plan- so that we are more like Him, serving Him.
I hate that my son is in pain. Any parent hates to see their child suffer. Don't you think God sees it and hurts with us as well? But, we must trust, and continue to follow the commandments of God.
James 5:10-11
Brothers, as an example of patience in the face of suffering, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. As you know, we consider blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job's perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.
1 Peter 5:10
And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.
Mercy Me's Song- Bring the Rain
I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain
I am yours regardless of the clouds that may loom above because you are much greater than my pain you who made a way for me suffering your destiny so tell me whats a little rain
Holy, holy, holy Holy, holy, holy
is the lord God almighty
is the lord God almighty
I'm forever singing
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Mommy Fumbles
In a football game...there are fumbles. It happens in the blink of any eye...with the crowd gasping- elation turns to frustration, and the ball slips out of a 'sure grip' and falls. After it hits the ground, it becomes a free for all for everyone on the field. Looking back, I am sure the football player that actually drops the ball is just sick...reliving that moment repeatedly depending on how much impact it had on the overall game.
Mommy fumbles can be the same way. But instead of the crowd gasping in frustration it is the mommy and instead of a ball dropping, many times it is sanity falling, but...the free for all remains the same no matter if it is a bunch of football players...or children. Hmmm...do I mean something with that analogy???
My fumbles have tended to happen when Todd is out of town. He used to travel so much more than he does now. One Summer, he was gone for about 8 weeks, stopping about twice in the midst. There were two overseas trips and two youth camps. I was pregnant with Katherine and Parker was almost two.
There was a rhythm to our life and most of the time things were fine. But...every once in a while all hell could break loose. Parker had gotten a sickness called hand/foot/mouth. I am sure he got it from a playland at some McDonalds where I would retreat to get some of Parker's energy out. The retreat usually lasted until I had to drag my pregnant body up through the tubes to retrieve my child...quite a sight, I am sure.
Anyway...hand/foot/mouth sickness...There were painful blisters all inside his mouth and he could not drink, eat, or exist without pain. And...he couldn't always sleep. Oral medicines burned his mouth so I had to give suppositories. Who likes those? Definitely not a 22 month old! I would tuck his feet up beside his head, holding him there with my arms and bulk and try to wrestle a suppository into a moving, bouncy target. Supposedly the suppository had some type of hard drug that was supposed to make him crash.
Ha, Ha, Ha! My mother and I had learned one rough night in DC when we had come for the Easter Egg Roll that Parker didn't always react to drugs like he was supposed to. That night, my mother and I took turns- but now I was by myself in San Antonio, and I was exhausted.
I put Parker to bed with wet tears on his face. He fell asleep! And I thought I was home free. But, alas, all good things must come to an end. Around midnight he woke up. And started running around the house. He was wired, wired, and more wired.
I let him watch shows, I played with him, I read to him, I locked him in his room, tried all sorts of thing but he was 'high' from the medicine and in pain. And I came to the end of my rope.
I remember slumping down beside his bed as he was running through the house and I just sobbed. I was tired, I was angry, and I didn't know what to do.
Parker finally ran out of gas and we fell asleep in his bed together, Katherine in my tummy in the middle.
I can't believe my son is eight now. He is so precious to me- we have experienced so much together that he will never remember. But, I do. And I know I continue to fumble in my motherhood, but God is there for both Parker and I. And God is there for you.
Deuteronomy 31:8
The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."
Mommy fumbles can be the same way. But instead of the crowd gasping in frustration it is the mommy and instead of a ball dropping, many times it is sanity falling, but...the free for all remains the same no matter if it is a bunch of football players...or children. Hmmm...do I mean something with that analogy???
My fumbles have tended to happen when Todd is out of town. He used to travel so much more than he does now. One Summer, he was gone for about 8 weeks, stopping about twice in the midst. There were two overseas trips and two youth camps. I was pregnant with Katherine and Parker was almost two.
There was a rhythm to our life and most of the time things were fine. But...every once in a while all hell could break loose. Parker had gotten a sickness called hand/foot/mouth. I am sure he got it from a playland at some McDonalds where I would retreat to get some of Parker's energy out. The retreat usually lasted until I had to drag my pregnant body up through the tubes to retrieve my child...quite a sight, I am sure.
Anyway...hand/foot/mouth sickness...There were painful blisters all inside his mouth and he could not drink, eat, or exist without pain. And...he couldn't always sleep. Oral medicines burned his mouth so I had to give suppositories. Who likes those? Definitely not a 22 month old! I would tuck his feet up beside his head, holding him there with my arms and bulk and try to wrestle a suppository into a moving, bouncy target. Supposedly the suppository had some type of hard drug that was supposed to make him crash.
Ha, Ha, Ha! My mother and I had learned one rough night in DC when we had come for the Easter Egg Roll that Parker didn't always react to drugs like he was supposed to. That night, my mother and I took turns- but now I was by myself in San Antonio, and I was exhausted.
I put Parker to bed with wet tears on his face. He fell asleep! And I thought I was home free. But, alas, all good things must come to an end. Around midnight he woke up. And started running around the house. He was wired, wired, and more wired.
I let him watch shows, I played with him, I read to him, I locked him in his room, tried all sorts of thing but he was 'high' from the medicine and in pain. And I came to the end of my rope.
I remember slumping down beside his bed as he was running through the house and I just sobbed. I was tired, I was angry, and I didn't know what to do.
Parker finally ran out of gas and we fell asleep in his bed together, Katherine in my tummy in the middle.
I can't believe my son is eight now. He is so precious to me- we have experienced so much together that he will never remember. But, I do. And I know I continue to fumble in my motherhood, but God is there for both Parker and I. And God is there for you.
Deuteronomy 31:8
The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."
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