My submission

I have been quiet over the past few weeks for many reasons. The cold air seems to bring my spirits down, my grandmother's passing still resonates in my soul, and just getting back into the swing of things after the holidays leaves my brain rather numb.

However, after listening to Todd's sermon from Sunday night, I felt the need to speak. Todd did a wonderful job addressing a difficult passage in Colossians. I listened live online and enjoyed, agreed with, and laughed with him as he spoke. But...I felt he gave me way too much credit regarding submission to my husband. You can listen to it as well at www.frontlinedc.org.

Todd was correct in his description of how we work together in our marriage- that we both do not see submission as direct obedience but as the voluntary surrendering of my will at those difficult times when we have not agreed. One of the reasons I fell in love with Todd was that he was unafraid of my strong personality or my strong opinions. He relished discussions and I never ever felt I had to deny who I was to be around him. His will, his security and his relationship with Christ was strong enough to allow me to be who I was. To say that I was always Godly or biblical in my expression would be incorrect, but Todd has most always allowed me leeway and allowed God to be my teacher except in some direct situations where he pointed out false thinking or ungodly action. Most of the time this has been in regards to gossip or speaking badly about someone.

I wanted to speak out about submission because in those instances where I submitted to Todd's leadership- it was not always easy for me. There were times where I held resentment in my heart and though I didn't express superiority to Todd- I felt it in my heart. I confess this to you all so that you know that you are not alone if you struggle with submission. However, I do not regard my response as one that God honors.

I too, see those times as growth for Todd, but I wanted you all to understand they were also times of growth for me. Those times were used to shape me to understand and trust the sovereignity of God. Those times were used to bring me face to face with my own issues of pride. Those times were used to break me, and mold me. I learned that in being 'one' with my husband- that also includes suffering with Him. I was taught how to uplift him, and how to esteem Todd up through learning how to pray through my resentment, allowing the Spirit of God to shatter my superior feelings and reminding me that I am also a person with much sin that has to be forgiven.

Realizing that God knew the innermost parts of my heart was humbling. Understanding that any issues we might have been having as couple might have been because of my own actions was eye opening.

I still see the strengths I bring to our marriage partnership. But, as most of all us know, many of our strengths have an underside to them- a weakness, if not kept in check with the truth of God.

God has an amazing purpose for marriage- and for leadership and submission. And it requires both the husband AND wife to belong to Jesus first. To be seeking Him in all things- to remaining tied to the vine of Christ on a daily basis and to voluntarily surrender your will to that of God. There might be times when you as a wife, have to submit to your husband, and it might be a challenge. But, I pray that you all are able to do it with more grace and obedience to God that I was able to do at times.

Blessings,

Julie