Undivided Heart- Brokenness

*Thank you all for your emails, comments, sharing of stories, prayers and encouragement regarding Parker. He is actually doing much better right now and we are heading to another doctor later this week for more tests, etc. He is really doing well- and hasn't been in pain since Wednesday.*

Brokenness. There are many ideas that come to my head regarding this issue...a lamb whose legs get broken when it wanders away from the shepherd so that it can relearn to hear the shepherd's voice. A wild horse that must be broken before it can be ridden, and mosaics- made up of many broken tiles into a beautiful picture.

Many of us are broken as well. Sometimes life has caused the cracks, and other times we have felt the Saviors hand molding us and breaking us.

This is a poem I have always loved- I don't know the author but I have carried it around with me over the years and it comes to mind periodically when I am experiencing certain things. It is a conversation based on scripture and the promises of God....

God chooses to break me.
But I am strong and I resist His breaking of me.

He breaks me in different degrees but all are separation. He breaks my shell of self and circumstances to reach into my character. He fills it with Him. The more He breaks and fills the gaps with the mortar of Him, the less you see of me.

To break; to interrupt as to break communication. Interrupt the old self that sends signals and impulses to old ways.

Link to His spirit

To break; to disconnect as to unplug from an energy source. Pull the chord from my strength.

Plug into Him.

To break; to breach as in a contract. He broke my contract with sin. I am longer bound to live by the law.

For I am free under Grace.

Oh, I am so unwilling to be willing. It's painful, Lord, foreign and fearful.

I know my beloved. But I have gone before you. Do not fear.

It will show my brittleness, fragility, frailty, how easily I crumble.

Yes, my beloved. For when you are all of these things, then My strength can show instead.

You said you will tear me to pieces!

My loved one, I promised to heal you. I must break you into shattered pieces to prove your nothingness and My completeness.

But Lord, I can't sweep me back together.

Exactly.

Lord, if you break me I'll leak. That seems useless.

Trust Me.

It hurts there where you touched me and now I am crippled.

Listen for My voice of love, little one. You must return to me for healing.

I am an empty pot.

You must be hollow so I can fill you with Myself and the fullness of My love.

But Father, the kneading, the pounding with a little time to rise in the oven. And once I seem whole, you tear me apart again.

I must bring you through all of this, beloved child. You must be torn asunder that I might serve you to those that hunger and thirst for Me.


Do you see it? Do you feel the love, the plans He has, can you understand? As I was writing all I could think about was Jesus' words in the upper room as he spoke to His disciples during the last supper-Luke 22:19 And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, "This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me."

You see, Jesus understood. He understands. He went through pain, suffering, humiliation, and even death- so that He could serve us....and save us.

Brokenness. So necessary to being undivided. Once again Jesus is revealed in dichotomy. It is through breaking us that he binds us together with something stronger, everlasting and more useful. It is through the breaking- that we cling to the vine of Christ. It is through the breaking that we are able to discern the Savior's voice- and find true joy.

John 3:27-30
To this John (the Baptist) replied, "A man can receive only what is given him from heaven. You yourselves can testify that I said, 'I am not the Christ but am sent ahead of him.' The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him, and is full of joy when he hears the bridegroom's voice. That joy is mine, and it is now complete. He must become greater; I must become less.

We must all decrease- decrease the old self, decrease the pride, decrease the sin, decrease the dependence on self, decrease; so that God, the creator of all, the alpha and omega, the One that is higher than the Heavens can increase...so His light can fill us up, showing through our cracks, and sealing us with the Holy Spirit. We are sealed- made better- when God is increased in our lives.

Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name Psalm 86:11


Lon Solomon's book Brokenness is wonderful to understand brokenness and God's purpose through it. Ken Gire, a writer who has great analogies and easy to read writing, has two books that I recommend as well: The Work of His Hands : The Agony and Ecstasy of Being Conformed to the Image of Christ(based on the Sculpture the Pieta by Michelangelo) and The Weathering Grace of God: The Beauty God Brings from Life's Upheavals