Mommy Fumbles

In a football game...there are fumbles. It happens in the blink of any eye...with the crowd gasping- elation turns to frustration, and the ball slips out of a 'sure grip' and falls. After it hits the ground, it becomes a free for all for everyone on the field. Looking back, I am sure the football player that actually drops the ball is just sick...reliving that moment repeatedly depending on how much impact it had on the overall game.

Mommy fumbles can be the same way. But instead of the crowd gasping in frustration it is the mommy and instead of a ball dropping, many times it is sanity falling, but...the free for all remains the same no matter if it is a bunch of football players...or children. Hmmm...do I mean something with that analogy???

My fumbles have tended to happen when Todd is out of town. He used to travel so much more than he does now. One Summer, he was gone for about 8 weeks, stopping about twice in the midst. There were two overseas trips and two youth camps. I was pregnant with Katherine and Parker was almost two.

There was a rhythm to our life and most of the time things were fine. But...every once in a while all hell could break loose. Parker had gotten a sickness called hand/foot/mouth. I am sure he got it from a playland at some McDonalds where I would retreat to get some of Parker's energy out. The retreat usually lasted until I had to drag my pregnant body up through the tubes to retrieve my child...quite a sight, I am sure.

Anyway...hand/foot/mouth sickness...There were painful blisters all inside his mouth and he could not drink, eat, or exist without pain. And...he couldn't always sleep. Oral medicines burned his mouth so I had to give suppositories. Who likes those? Definitely not a 22 month old! I would tuck his feet up beside his head, holding him there with my arms and bulk and try to wrestle a suppository into a moving, bouncy target. Supposedly the suppository had some type of hard drug that was supposed to make him crash.

Ha, Ha, Ha! My mother and I had learned one rough night in DC when we had come for the Easter Egg Roll that Parker didn't always react to drugs like he was supposed to. That night, my mother and I took turns- but now I was by myself in San Antonio, and I was exhausted.

I put Parker to bed with wet tears on his face. He fell asleep! And I thought I was home free. But, alas, all good things must come to an end. Around midnight he woke up. And started running around the house. He was wired, wired, and more wired.

I let him watch shows, I played with him, I read to him, I locked him in his room, tried all sorts of thing but he was 'high' from the medicine and in pain. And I came to the end of my rope.

I remember slumping down beside his bed as he was running through the house and I just sobbed. I was tired, I was angry, and I didn't know what to do.

Parker finally ran out of gas and we fell asleep in his bed together, Katherine in my tummy in the middle.

I can't believe my son is eight now. He is so precious to me- we have experienced so much together that he will never remember. But, I do. And I know I continue to fumble in my motherhood, but God is there for both Parker and I. And God is there for you.

Deuteronomy 31:8
The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."