Raney, Sin and Parker

*Note* Some of the stories, from my previous blogs might be repeated as I update and write new blogs for Frontline Roundtable, which is a blog for our church (http://blogs.frontlinedc.com/)

My two daughters play together like angels and fight like the devil. One day after one of their fights I asked Raney why were they fighting? She informed me that she and Katherine did not like one another that day.

I asked what she thought God would say to that. She eagerly responded, "I don't know- what would He say- tell me!"

I told her that God gave them to one another and He doesn't like it when we are not kind to each other. God wants them to be friends and to be sweet with one another and that it hurts his Heart when we hurt one another.

To which Raney angrily replied, "Ahhgg, Stop telling God stuff! Don't tell Him what I am doing!"

I hated to inform her that God was already quite aware of what was going on in our house....

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Ephesians 4:29-32

Sometimes we feel the same way. We hope that God doesn’t really ‘see’ what we are doing. And yet, most of us know that God sees our hearts and knows the thoughts we are thinking though we do not speak or act on them. He knows us. That realization is comforting and rather frightening at the same time.

My son Parker is learning to confess his sins, he is relying much on the fact that God knows everything about him. He thinks that he shouldn’t have to tell God since he cannot remember all of the sin and God is all knowing anyway. Parker is also trying to work a deal with me that once a week should about cover it, that way he can store up the sins before confessing them. However, we all need to come face to face with our sins, calling them by name so we understand the depravity of our sinful nature and how it grieves God when we choose to sin.

"If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives." 1 John 1:8-10

Yes, God knows when we sin. But, He desires us to know as well. As I told Parker, maybe the more he confessed his sins to God and asked for forgiveness, the more he (Parker) would understand what actions grieve God. The same is true for us as well.

We all need to realize the things in our lives that come between us and God, we need to confess, and then we need to repent- turning back to God and His desires for us…. because we love God too much to keep doing what we were doing.

"Since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God." 2 Corinthians 7:1

Friday Night Lights

This is a purely selfish blog...one of my favorite shows may go off the air and just when I became a faithful viewer!

If you have any feelings regarding Friday Night Lights...go to this website: http://www.savefridaynightlights.tv/

I have to say, I am encouraged. When I signed the petition- I was seven hundred and something but now they are up to 8,000!

blessings,

julie

Gender Gaps

My young son was walking up the stairs talking to one of his friends. I could hear their conversation clearly and though I wasn’t eavesdropping, I don’t think Parker would have appreciated knowing that I was listening.

“How do you get to have more phone calls to her cell phone?” asked Parker’s friend Matthew.

“If I am nice to her and do what she says I can earn more phone calls, “ Parker replied.

Are you kidding me? Parker is trying to EARN the ability to make phone calls to a girl?

I didn’t confront him at that time but the thought of my eight-year-old son being manipulated really frustrated me.Parker is discovering girls. And he is enjoying the discovery very much. As parents, it is hard to stand by and not do anything to stop the journey. I am realizing that the many hang-ups we receive are little girls calling. Star 69 and caller ID are such wonderful inventions.

Parker still likes to use the standard elementary party line that ‘he doesn’t like girls’ but Todd and I watch him get wrapped around the axle regarding a few of the girls in his class, not knowing what to do with all the feelings he has especially because the girls are interfering with his other boy relationships. The girls are dividing the boys and inserting themselves into their business. Todd would definitely say that I still do this and it is not regulated to just 3rd grade girls!

I have to tell you that I have been surprised by how aggressive the young girls can be. I have heard the same thing from my other Christian friends with sons in high school. Boys don’t have to work very hard to get what they want…the girls are making themselves available- manipulating situations, parents, rules, and the boys themselves to be in control. They are offering themselves- wholeheartedly- and our young men find it very hard to always be the one to say ‘no’.

In my opinion these characteristics are prime examples of what is going wrong with leadership in the church and home. Boys are failing to become the leaders that they were intended to be because women who do not allow them to lead surround them.

Uh, oh…I can already hear many of you freaking out.

Women do not have to push overs, allowing men to walk all over them- but we do need to learn to step back sometimes. I would use the term ‘stand down’ allowing for the men in our lives to ‘stand up’.

While doing a Beth Moore bible study years ago, I came across a scripture that has stayed with me. Acts 13:49-50:
"The word of the Lord spread through the whole region. But the Jews incited the God-fearing women of high standing and the leading men of the city. They stirred up persecution against Paul and Barnabas, and expelled them from their region."

You see, when the Jews wanted to get Paul and Barnabas out of town- they not only went to the male leaders- but also to the women. Women have influence and can be the cause of stirring up things that are not of God. So can men…but….

After talking to Todd about this whole issue, I understand I don’t have all the answers. I desire to raise my daughters to be strong, independent women after God’s own heart. I want them to wait until the phone rings, I want them to demand respect, courtesy and Godly leadership from the men they meet, and I think that is easier to accomplish in this day and age than for Todd and I to raise our son to be the leader God desires him to be. We fear that if he never has to put forth effort- then where will his passion come from?

I don’t want to have the gender relationships regress to women becoming property of no value- but I desire there to be more balance in our culture. And if our culture refuses to change, then our churches still need to.

I completely understand that many of the young girls are just looking for some type of affirmation because many of them come from homes without male influence, leadership or even presence.

So, where do we stop the cycle? How? Why? Why do women make up most of the volunteer base in most churches? Why do so many women attend church by themselves or with just their children? Why is there a vacuum of Godly Christian male leadership?Any ideas?

God's Touchdowns

I got out of the shower and heard my children fighting in the distance. But, rather than facing being the arbitrator in one more ridiculous argument, I turned on the blow dryer to drown out their sounds. My thoughts were repetitive: "Why me?" "Why can't they just get along for more than thirty minute increments?" "I just want them to be quiet!" and the always-effective silent scream in my head, "AGGHHH!"

Suffering. You might think that I don't know what true suffering actually is...and you might even be right. However, we all experience different types of sufferings in various seasons of life. For a stay at home mother- I can tell you- these kinds of days are truly days of suffering. They are the kind of days that give feet to the song, "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to".

Recently, in my studies of the Gospel of John as well as Nancy Guthrie’s One Year Book of Hope, I have come to the understanding that it is okay to sit down and weep, to cry out, to have a pity party...as long it is for a short time. Jesus is present even in those seemingly senseless times of pain.

He is Savior, Lord, and Messiah. But, He is also Friend, Father, the Good Shepherd and the Great High Priest.

I was watching one of my very favorite TV shows, Friday Night Lights. One of the star players had his hopes dashed regarding his future college plans. His wonderful mother came in and offered one of those phrases that seem rather trite but are stuffed full of truth. She said, "I know Whitmore wasn't your dream, but when a door closes, God opens a window. He don't ever fumble the ball-He always gets a touchdown- that is God's plan". And I thought, "Wow... that is so true."

Sorrow. Grief. Suffering. The ending of dreams, the realization that fantasy doesn't match reality, and the experience of weeping by yourself when no one is around- But God's plan and His sovereignty reigns.

Jesus, even knowing what was going to happen with Lazarus still understood loss and comforted the people in their sorrow and yet pointed them to the truth found in Him.

John 11
33When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. 34"Where have you laid him?" he asked. "Come and see, Lord," they replied. 35Jesus wept. 40Then Jesus said, "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?" 41So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, "Father, I thank you that you have heard me. 42I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me."

God's touchdown. It may not come about in a play you recognize, understand or even appreciate at the time...but He still comes. He comes to wrap His arms around you, sharing in your sorrow and guiding you to His truth.

During the days of Jesus' life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered
Hebrews 5:7-8

Jesus gave us an example...we can learn obedience in the midst of suffering. Following and hearing God with reverent submission.

My favorite truth of sorrow or suffering is the gift of the Holy Spirit. Guthrie says, "The Holy Spirit is God loving you up close, drawing near to you, living inside you...He brings conviction of sin, but he also brings comfort in distress" (One Year Book of Hope, pg. 25). And when you cannot pray due to numbness, frustration, grief, or heartache- the Holy Spirit is there to intercede for you:
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will. Romans 8:26-27.

Sometimes you might even be expressing "trust more out of a desire to trust than a confession of the reality of {your} souls" (One Year Book of Hope, pg. 29).

Thoughts?

MORE

There is a saying in life ‘that too much of anything is never a good thing’. I would tend to agree with that quote in all things except in regards to Jesus.

Jesus himself says in John 10:10, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.”

Todd always loves to point out in his sermons that having life more abundant in Christ doesn’t always mean just the good things. Living more abundant in Christ, possessing more of Jesus, allowing God to seep into all parts, and letting the Holy Spirit indwell every aspect of your life is not always easy…and the result is not always smooth.

We visited with some friends of ours recently and they told us their family’s theme of the year was going to be ‘wisdom’. Todd and I thought that was pretty cool. I left them thinking about what our family’s them might be. Todd and I haven’t talked about this directly, but at the end of this past year what was becoming clear to he and I was the idea of ‘more of Jesus’. That is what we put in our Christmas card not just as a trite sentiment but because that is truly what we wished for those we cared about. We wanted 2008 to be a year that they saw more of Jesus in their own life…no matter what that looked like.

I reviewed my blog on satisfaction (http://juliegphillips.blogspot.com/2007/11/satisfaction.html) and realized that God was working, even then, on making this concept clear in my life. And as with most truths that God reveals to me, I have to process them for a while before I can truly claim them for my own life. Why? Well, because my Christian experience has taught me that nothing from God is cheap. We see that especially in the cost that Jesus paid for our lives. There is a cost in truly following God and one should always be willing to pay the price before stepping out in faith.

I don’t mean to sound negative because the rewards are great. God’s peace and God’s joy is worth anything…truly! And…we know, that we know, that we know- that God will always catch us. But…there might be a time of falling. And a time of struggle.

Todd, Parker and I were watching the 3rd Indiana Jones movie and at the end he has to step out into the abyss in faith…and as you know- there appears a walkway, seemingly in the midst of thin air. But there is a short time of falling before the walkway appears.

More of Jesus…more faith, more willingness to face trials, more opportunity to fall, and more opportunity for your faith to mature and be strengthened in the understanding of ultimate dependence on God.

John 15 and 16 are so very powerful. Jesus begins chapter 15 with the example of the vine and the branches and how important it is to stay tied to the vine, Jesus and His word, to gain sustenance. He goes on in chapter 16 to express why…because the disciples were going to face many trials after Jesus’ death- including grief and sorrow. There is a lot of truth and promises revealed in both of these chapters but one of the most powerful statements occurs in the very last verse of Chapter 16:

33"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

And that is what we hold onto…that is what gives us hope- the knowledge that Jesus has overcome the world and all that is in it. The victory is already won…so we can safely pursue more of Jesus, even knowing we might have a time of free fall, because in HIM we find peace…and ultimately victory.

But…apart from Him we can do nothing (John 15:5 I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.”)

Are you ready to have more of Jesus…More trials, more learning, more conviction, more sorrow, more fruit, more peace, more joy, and more victory?

All I can tell you is that for me…it is a daily struggle…and right now I am holding on to the verse in John 16:33 to take heart! He has overcome….

My submission

I have been quiet over the past few weeks for many reasons. The cold air seems to bring my spirits down, my grandmother's passing still resonates in my soul, and just getting back into the swing of things after the holidays leaves my brain rather numb.

However, after listening to Todd's sermon from Sunday night, I felt the need to speak. Todd did a wonderful job addressing a difficult passage in Colossians. I listened live online and enjoyed, agreed with, and laughed with him as he spoke. But...I felt he gave me way too much credit regarding submission to my husband. You can listen to it as well at www.frontlinedc.org.

Todd was correct in his description of how we work together in our marriage- that we both do not see submission as direct obedience but as the voluntary surrendering of my will at those difficult times when we have not agreed. One of the reasons I fell in love with Todd was that he was unafraid of my strong personality or my strong opinions. He relished discussions and I never ever felt I had to deny who I was to be around him. His will, his security and his relationship with Christ was strong enough to allow me to be who I was. To say that I was always Godly or biblical in my expression would be incorrect, but Todd has most always allowed me leeway and allowed God to be my teacher except in some direct situations where he pointed out false thinking or ungodly action. Most of the time this has been in regards to gossip or speaking badly about someone.

I wanted to speak out about submission because in those instances where I submitted to Todd's leadership- it was not always easy for me. There were times where I held resentment in my heart and though I didn't express superiority to Todd- I felt it in my heart. I confess this to you all so that you know that you are not alone if you struggle with submission. However, I do not regard my response as one that God honors.

I too, see those times as growth for Todd, but I wanted you all to understand they were also times of growth for me. Those times were used to shape me to understand and trust the sovereignity of God. Those times were used to bring me face to face with my own issues of pride. Those times were used to break me, and mold me. I learned that in being 'one' with my husband- that also includes suffering with Him. I was taught how to uplift him, and how to esteem Todd up through learning how to pray through my resentment, allowing the Spirit of God to shatter my superior feelings and reminding me that I am also a person with much sin that has to be forgiven.

Realizing that God knew the innermost parts of my heart was humbling. Understanding that any issues we might have been having as couple might have been because of my own actions was eye opening.

I still see the strengths I bring to our marriage partnership. But, as most of all us know, many of our strengths have an underside to them- a weakness, if not kept in check with the truth of God.

God has an amazing purpose for marriage- and for leadership and submission. And it requires both the husband AND wife to belong to Jesus first. To be seeking Him in all things- to remaining tied to the vine of Christ on a daily basis and to voluntarily surrender your will to that of God. There might be times when you as a wife, have to submit to your husband, and it might be a challenge. But, I pray that you all are able to do it with more grace and obedience to God that I was able to do at times.

Blessings,

Julie

Be thou Near to Me

http://www.dizzler.com/music/Jim_Brickman/Be_Thou_Near_To_Me

BE THOU NEAR TO ME

O, Lord I come with heart here open

For in my hour of darkness, I may be

Seeking the joy unspoken

O Lord, be thou near to me


And the holy voices sing hallelu

Ever will thy reign be

As I wander through this life,

O Lord, Be thou near to me


Though in this burden of my making,

Yet in the shadows still a light I see

Maker, whose love is not forsaken,

O Lord, be thou near to me


And the holy voices sing hallelu

Ever will thy reign be

As I wander through this life,

O Lord, Be thou near to me

I gave my mother a Greatest Hymns CD from Selah for Christmas. This song is on it. I can't express the feelings of peace I felt as I listened to it while driving around in Texas. Though there seemed to dark clouds- as I listened to this song and the truths expressed- there was a break in the clouds and I heard the voice of God...

There is a reality to our lives...and we all come face to face with it at various times. Our life will have pain...and suffering...and joy...and peace.

Grief is like being dropped off a cliff. It is like you are walking along and then all of the sudden you are down, down, down...and all the faces peering over the edge seem so very far away. It can surprise you and overcome the sunniest day.

And yet...there is peace. Peace because God reigns- His reign is forever and He is near.

Psalm 146:1-2;10
Praise the LORD. Praise the LORD, O my soul. I will praise the LORD all my life; I will sing praise to my God as long as I live. The LORD reigns forever, your God, O Zion, for all generations. Praise the LORD.

Draw near to God and He will draw near to you...James 4:8a

And as you realize the truths of God- you step away from your darkness, from your wandering and from your grief...and you understand that the gift we have been given is for today. That though God is forever and the beginning and the end- we are to live today for Him. That is all I can do. I can get up today and get out of bed and live for God. I can draw near to him and allow Him to draw near to me. I can open myself up to His guidance today. Tomorrow is not here yet and worries or fears or anticipation will do no good.

We listen to some children's songs by Steve Green. They are scriptures set to music. One of the songs is Proverbs 18:24 "A man of too many friends comes to ruin,But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." And in the song it jokingly says, "A friend who stinks?" and then goes on to correct that with the right words.

One day recently, Raney was going around and repeating herself (which she does quite often) and she was repeating this song, dancing around and singing to herself, "There is a friend, There is a friend, a friend that sticks, a friend that stinks? No! A friend that sticks...closer than a brother!"

Again and again I heard her sing. What a gift! We have a friend in Jesus and He sticks to us like glue...

So again...while I sit with eyes closed and hands open on my lap...from the song I sing in my heart

O, Lord I come with heart here open
For in my hour of darkness, I may be
Seeking the joy unspoken
O Lord, be thou near to me


So if you are in the darkness, or wandering around in the wildnerness- sit and and allow God to be near to you...